dear sam ive been the victim of a crime and i feel guilty and i dont know why . i feel like the police are wasting time on me . my anxiety is getting crippling i cant be in the same room i am also facing bullying cause of it they say im a hoe cause im technaluy not a virgin cause i was raped i feel dirty and discusting its stressing me out like crazy and its really afecting everything i hate being at school and at home i kinda want to run away . my mom was screaming calling me selfish spitefull a mistake pearents evening is comming up and she is being so mean so i will get mad i have anger issues . she is getting really mad about my grades but im dyslexic and i find it so hard at school im only year 7 but bullied by year 9 year 11 year 8 and year 7 its horrible i just want one freind
Sam
Hi there,
A rape or sexual assault can bring up lots of difficult thoughts and emotions. These feelings can affect all parts of your life and sometimes other people might not realise this. It's really important to ask for as much help as you need. If you feel like the people around you are stopping you from getting that support then you may need to talk to someone else to make sure you get the help you deserve.
Everyone will react in their own way, but it's common for people to feel bad about themselves, such as feeling dirty or like they have done something wrong. I want you to know that being raped does not make you dirty or disgusting. What happened wasn't your fault and it doesn't say anything about you as a person.
The impact of being raped can affect all different areas of your day to day life. Some people might have problems sleeping, which can affect how you feel at school. Many people could feel less like socialising and want to be alone more, which can affect your friendships and family relationships. It's also common to feel angry or anxious. All of these things can feel overwhelming and make it harder for you to cope. Often it's hard for others to understand this.
To help you to recover from a sexual assault it's important to have the right professional support. Even if you feel you don't need professional help it's usually a good idea to give it a try. Talking to someone who is trained to listen and understands the impact a rape or sexual assault can make a big difference.
There are a few ways of getting help. The first place to look might be to the people who care for you at home. If you find they're not being as supportive as you need, then you can turn to other adults you trust. You can always go to your school or your GP to ask for support in getting professional help.
Childline counsellors are always here for you too - you can talk to Childline about anything.
I hope this helps, thanks for writing to me.
Take care.
Sam
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