He always shouts and today he disowned me and told me that tomorrow he was gonna kick me out- I'm only 13
i don't know what to do and I'm frightened- my mum is on holiday right now, I'm sorry this isn't longer but it's late and he could come upstairs so I'm trying to keep it short. He told me that my mum deserved it when he hit her- they aren't together but my mum still helps him get on his feet. It's quite sickening when I know everything he's done and she still helps him.
I don't know what I should do- my mum knows about his temper but he always makes me feel I the middle. It would be great if you could help.
I.
Sam
Hi there,
Im really glad you found the courage to write to me.
I can hear that the situation with dad at home has been really scary, especially since mum is away at the moment. Youve told me that hes threatened to kick you out. Its not OK for him to do that. It is his responsibility to look after you until at least your 16th birthday. So if this happened, it would be really important for you to get some support. You could get this from either calling 999 and telling the police what had happened, or calling ChildLine and letting them support and keep you safe.
Youve said that your dad told you that mum deserved it when he hit her, but its important to know that no one ever deserves to be hit, no matter what they have done. What dad did was wrong and it is physical abuse.
I can hear how hard it is for you that mum helps dad despite his behaviour and the hurt that he has caused you both. You sound confused about what, if anything, youd like to do about the situation. Theres a really good website called The Hideout which offers advice and information to young people in situations like yours. You might find it useful to have a look.
As well as that, you could always talk it through with a ChildLine counsellor. They talk to lots of young people about difficulties involving their parents. The would really want to listen to and support you. You havent said anything about what dad does to make you feel like youre caught in the middle between him and mum, but thats something you could talk through with a counsellor too.
You might also want to have a look at the ChildLine message boards where you can read what other young people have said about situations similar to this. Some people say what they have done to cope and to get things to change for them.
Take care, Sam
Need help straight away?
You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.
Ask me a question
You can ask me about anything you want, there's nothing too big or small. I read every single letter but I can only answer a few each week. My replies are published here on my page.
