I am constantly bullied at school by the same kids. I am teased about my looks and unfortunately I can't change them. How can I cope with staying calm and standing up to bullies, I am too scared to talk to my parents with the fear that they won't understand. I am terrified of sitting next to the bullies because I am afraid their rumours about me will spread to people and that I'll be a laughing stock. Please help Sam, What Should I Do?
xxx
Sam
Hi there,
One of the hardest things about bullying is the feeling of not being in control. It can feels as though the bullies have all the power and that there is nothing you can do. Feeling like this can have an effect on your confidence and everything you do. But there are some things you can do to try and take back some control.
Standing up to bullies is not easy - and it's not always the best thing to do. You need to decide if standing up to the people bullying you is going to make things better for you or not. If you decide that you want to make a stand, our advice about being assertive has some techniques that can really help. Sometimes standing up to bullies and being assertive can help to change things, but it's okay to choose not to if you don't feel ready.
It's common for people to tell me that they don't want to talk to someone at home or at school because they are worried they won't understand. When you already feel like you're not in control it can be difficult to then give more control to someone else by telling them. Something to think about though is that the people you tell should be those who care about you most. If they care about you, they will want what is best for you.
When we feel out of control it can help to look to the people who do have some control. If this is happening at school, your teachers should have some power to try and stop the bullying. I can't say it always works but it's definitely a good start. It's always okay to talk about what's happening. The more you are able to tell your school, the more they should be able to try and help.
We have a quick tool to help you decide what to do when being bullied - it's called Bounce Back From Bullying and is something you might find useful to do. And remember, our counsellors are always here for you to talk to as well.
Thanks for your letter, take care.
Sam
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