Ask Sam letter


To Sam

im scared to go to school & no one understands.

i am writing to hopefuly get someone i can actually speak to about my bullying issues without being judged on how i am dealing with it. basically my group of friends at school have never liked me but not had the guts to tell me. i obviiously showed i was very upset about this by telling teachers. so the bullying started. a few other very popular girls started saying stuff to and about me on the internet & in school. to start of with the teacher was trying to give me advice about what i could do. she kept me off a few lessons & had words with everyone involved. but one of the girls said each time i tll my teacher about what happed its only going to get worse for me. obiously i still felt safe because she was keepin me from some of the lessons but today the teacher has said im taking things to  far and blowing it way out of now im back to square one on my own too scared to go to school. i just want someone like you to understand what im gong through and actually be supprotive seen as though my family arnt.
from j x
Ask Sam


Hi J,

Thanks so much for sharing what you’ve been going through. I can tell that you’ve been having a very tough time lately and you’ve done really well to express your feelings like this. You explained that a group you used to be friends with and also a few other girls have started to say stuff to you on the internet and in school. It’s never okay for them to bully you like this and it’s not your fault that it’s happening.  You deserve respect and your school has a responsibility to help make the bullying stop.

It takes a lot of courage to tell a teacher and it is a good idea to carry on letting teachers know if the bullying is carrying on so that they don’t assume that it’s stopped. The girl who said that the bullying will get worse each time you tell a teacher has no right to threaten you like that. Sometimes bullies try to make you feel too afraid to tell anyone else about it as a way of trying to keep control of the situation because they know that if other people knew, then they’d be in trouble. 

What your teacher has said has made you feel as though you’re starting all over again and I get the feeling that you no longer feel supported at school. Your teacher still has a responsibility to help stop the bullying and if you feel as though she isn’t doing enough, you have the right to speak to another teacher or make a complaint to the head teacher. It can also be a good idea to keep a record of all of the things the bullies do so that you can show this to somebody. This is a way of letting them know how often it is happening. Some people also find it useful to keep a separate personal diary so that they can let out some of their feelings. You mentioned that your family aren’t being supportive and it seems as though you’ve got a lot on your mind right now. Please remember that you’re always welcome to talk to a counsellor at ChildLine free on 0800 1111 if you want somebody to be there to listen. You can also get support from other young people by using the message boards, where you can read what other young people, who are going through similar experiences, are saying about what they do to cope.

All young people deserve to feel safe and cared for at school and, if that isn’t happening, you have the right to get support from your school so that things change. All schools are supposed to have an Anti-Bullying policy. Maybe you could ask to see this so that you can look at the things that your school is meant to be doing to help. You also mentioned that people are writing things on the internet, either about you or to you. I’m not sure which sites this is happening on but it might be useful to read the information on our website about how to protect yourself online. There are ways that you can block people as well as places to report cyber-bullying.

It’s really good that you got in touch and I hope that you get the help you need so that the bullying stops and life can start to feel better.

Take care of yourself,


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