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To Sam

I'm being bullied because of something I did :s

So basically, a few months ago me and my (ex) boyfriend did.. Sexual.. Stuff together. It was long distance, so we only got to see each other much, so we had to make the most of the time we had together. I was 13, he's 16. I confided in a couple of best friends what we did, and he told his best friends but nobody else. After a few more weeks we broke up:/ After a month or two, I became good friends with this other guy, so I told him my secret too.. But he went round and told loads of people at school. Now all I get is stupid puns about what I did, people calling me a slut and talking about what I did- it's so annoying:/ My dad knows what's went on, and what I did and he isn't mad at me at all- he supports me. But I don't know who to tell about the bullying. It was funny, but now it's really starting to hurt me. Please help x
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Sam

Hi there

Thank you for your letter and well done for writing in to get some support.

It sounds like you’re feeling hurt about your trust being broken by this new friend. I can hear that the joking and name calling stopped been funny a long time ago and I can understand you feeling really hurt by it. Sexual bullying is any kind of bullying that involves making fun of someone’s sexuality, their gender, or the choices they have made about sex. Unfortunately it is becoming more and more common, but it is absolutely not ok. No one has the right to treat you unkindly because of what they’ve heard about you and your ex-boyfriend. You made a private choice that felt right for you at the time, and that certainly doesn’t make you a “slut”.

It’s good that you’ve felt able to share with your dad about what’s happened and that you feel supported by him. I’m not sure from what you’ve said whether he knows about the bullying too. If not, maybe he could be another person who you could think about talking to about that and perhaps he could support you in speaking to the school. It might be worth keeping a diary of every time something unkind is said to you, so that you can show the school just how hard things are at the moment. Schools have a responsibility to tackle any bullying and all schools should have an anti-bullying policy, which is like a promise about how they will try and get it to stop.

You could take a look at the bullying pages in the explore section for more information and advice about bullying. I understand that this might be a lot to think about and if you wanted to, you could talk with a ChildLine counsellor. Sometimes it can help just to be able to talk to someone about what is going on, even if you don’t feel ready right now to talk to someone at school. If you did want to do that you could call 0800 1111 (all calls are free and won't show up on the phone bill) or chat to a counsellor through 1-2-1 chat (works like instant messenger).

You’ve done really well to write this letter and there is always someone at ChildLine for you to talk to for support.

Take care

Sam

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