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To Sam

I don't even know what to do???

Sam I need your help. I don't feel safe or welcomed at my moms, but she won't let me go to my dads, because it's her time with me, but she never spends it with me, she's always playing her video game, i once asked for help on homework, but she couldn't because she was busy with her game, and she I failed it. I want to be with my dad, my parents have been split since I was really little, I have no say in who I want to stay with, but I want to leave, I'm 13 almost ( 3monsths 5days) 14 but I don't want to put up with this any longer, I feel hated here she keeps me because I'm a possession, she's happy as long as my dad doesn't have compleat control over me, it's not fair to me, or my brother who doesn't even know what's going on, is there anyway I can go to my dads 
Ask Sam


Hi there,

It’s often difficult when parents have split up and you feel like they are using you as part of their separation. You should be happy with the parent you’re living with. If you’re not happy, it’s okay to say so.

When parents split up it can be a very difficult time. There might be arguments or they may not be speaking at all. In either case it’s not fair for them to use you as a way of getting back at each other. This can leave you feeling like a piece of property rather than a person.

It’s wrong of your mum to ignore you, whether you live there all the time or not. In any family there’s always going to be lots of distractions away from spending time together. However, it’s important to make use of the time you do have, especially if it’s split between two parents like this.

Whether you’re able to live with your dad will depend on how where you would live was first decided when your parents separated. If they went to court to decide this, your dad would need to go back to court and try to get it changed. If this was agreed between your mum and dad, then they will need to agree again now or go to court if they can’t agree.

The best thing to do when you want things to change is make sure your feelings are known. Things aren’t likely to change unless you say something first. So your first step is to decide who you will talk to first and how you are going to bring it up. Your dad might be the best person to begin with. You need to find out if you are able to live with him first before you start trying to make that happen.

Whatever the case, this all may be stressful for you so it’s important to make sure you get as much support as you can. It’s good if you have a friend that you can trust to share this with, so that you can let things out to them. There are also always counsellors at ChildLine ready to listen. I hope this helps.

Take care,  

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