Ask Sam letter

Hi,

Thanks for your letter. I’m so glad that you decided to get in touch. What this girl and other people in your year are doing is very wrong.

Nobody is allowed to threaten you or put you down for any reason including your sexuality. There is nothing wrong with being gay, bi, or straight and everyone has the right to be proud of who they are. You said that some people are threatening to beat you up, which sounds really scary. Threatening someone is wrong and can even be against the law. If you ever feel like you’re in danger you should tell a trusted adult straight away, or call 999 and ask for the police.

Your school has a legal responsibility to take homophobic bullying (bullying someone because of their sexuality) seriously and you did the right thing to tell your mum and your head of year. It sounds like you feel really let down because they don’t seem to have done anything. Unfortunately sometimes you’ll need to tell people about bullying more than once before they start to understand how serious the problem is.

You might want to consider explaining to your mum or a teacher how the bullying is affecting you and the way its making you feel. Some people find keeping a bullying diary helps to show others just how bad things are. In your bullying diary you can write down what happens, when, who does it and how it makes you feel. That way when an adult that you trust reads it they can get a really clear picture of what’s happening and what its like for you.

I’m really concerned to hear that you are contemplating suicide. It sounds like things have felt very overwhelming and out of your control. It seems as though you have been feeling quite unheard and on your own with things. You have a right to feel safe at home and at school and nobody has the right to make you feel this way. ChildLine wants to be here to support you. You are welcome to talk to a ChildLine counsellor by having a 1-2-1 chat via our website (this works a bit like instant messenger) or calling us on 0800 1111. That way you can talk to the counsellor about what’s happening and think together about what you might like to do next.

EACH (Educational Action Challenging Homophobic) are another organisation that would want to support you. They have a helpline specifically for reporting homophonic bullying, which you can call for free on 0808 1000 143. You might also want to see what Stonewall have to say about bullying.

Hope this helps.

Take Care,

Sam