Ask Sam letter


To Sam


I'm being bullied by some boys in school. They make untrue lies about me and tell others  they have more friends than me so more people believe them than me. It ranges from lies about sexual things to them pretending I am gay ( which to me is nothing to embarrassed of  but it's the way people treat me even though I am not gay) to then say I have no friends. What should I do. I don't want to be the grass or the tale teller because "it's just a joke! Can't you take a joke?"
Ask Sam


Hi there,

I’m really pleased that you felt able to get in touch for some support. No one has a right to bully you and it’s really brave of you to speak out about what’s going on.
Bullies often try to excuse what they’re doing by saying it’s just a joke, as they know that they would be in trouble if people told someone about what’s happening. Bullying isn’t funny and it’s never acceptable. You have a right to feel safe at school and it’s important that you get support to make this stop.

I can hear that you’re worried about being called a grass or tale teller, but actually speaking to a trusted adult, such as a family member or a teacher you get on with, can mean that you no longer have to try and deal with this alone. It’s okay to be honest with them and let them know that you’re worried the bullies may try and use the fact you’ve spoken to someone against you. That way they can help you think about the best way to deal with the problem.

Some people find it helpful to keep a diary of the bullying, to help them remember when and where things happened, so that they have examples of what’s gone on to share with the people supporting them.  

You might also find it helpful to talk to a ChildLine counsellor about what’s going on. It’s free to call on 0800 1111 or you can log on for a 1-2-1 chat. You could have a look at our pages on bullying. You could also have a look at the Bullying message board where young people share their experiences and support each other. Bullybusters and Bullying UK also provide lots of other useful ideas about how to tackle bullying.

Take care,

Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

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