Ask Sam letter

Asker

To Sam

child abuse

hi sam im having trouble wit my mum and dad they always hit me and shout at me a teacher almost found the marks i had to lie to cover for my parents they always call me useless i almost left home i want to tell someone but they threatend me and said i would go in care and it would be my fault my friend knows about it hes been throuhgh the same please help im only 12 its really unfair wy does it have to happen to me im also a family of 7
Ask Sam

Sam

Hi there,

Thanks for getting in touch with me to tell me what life at home is like for you. You’ve been really brave and very open and honest. From the sounds of things, life at home can feel very threatening for you.

I’m concerned to hear that you’re getting hurt at home by mum and dad - this is physical abuse. Physical abuse is wrong and against the law and it’s very important that it is made to stop. You might find it helpful to read more about physical abuse in the Explore pages. It’s also not ok for your parents to call you names. I agree with you, what’s happening at home is not fair, and it needs to stop.

It sounds like you were put in a very awkward position having to lie to the teacher and cover for your parents. It’s really important that you know that none of what is happening is your fault and that you have done nothing wrong. You don’t need to cover for your parent’s behaviour, you have the right to show the teacher the marks if you want to. If you ever feel you need medical attention, it’s also ok to talk to somebody such as your doctor or the school nurse. To get help in an emergency it’s also ok to call 999.

You mentioned your friend had been through the same as you. From what you’ve said, I’m not sure if your friend is still getting hurt at home now. Perhaps the two of you could support each other to think about the options for you both getting the help you need.

One way to make this stop could be to talk to a teacher. Teachers have a responsibility to make sure the young people they work with are safe at home. You could also talk to any trusted adult and ask them to contact social services on your behalf. Social services provide help and support to people that need it, so that life can feel easier and safer.

It sounds like you want to talk to somebody, but the threat of going into care has stopped you. I can’t say what would definitely happen if you tell somebody, but I do know you have a legal right to be safe. I can hear how hard things are for you when you tell me that you have considered leaving home. Leaving home by yourself at 12 is not a safe option and I would be worried about you doing this.

You matter and you are important and you don’t have to go through this on your own. Remember you can always contact a counsellor at ChildLine if you want to talk more.

Take good care

Sam

Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

Ask me a question

You can ask me about anything you want, there's nothing too big or small.

Write me a letter