Ask Sam letter


To Sam


dear sam i think i might be bulling a girl in my class.

I know this sounds mean but a lot of girls in my class think she is annoying and spred rumors about her. what makes it worse is that she has a cush on my cousin and its really REALLY wierd seeing her fawing over him . it's all kinda died down and   last week  i mimicked her on the on the football field i'm pretty sure she herd me too . i tend to avoid her or roll my eyes at her and last week aswell she started a concersation with me and i said "good for you" she thought i was being sartastic and said " stop being sartastic or i'll tell" yesterday she went to my friends house because she invited all the girls in my class and i dont know what i did or said but she kept glaring at me. i'm scared she'll tell because i ddo most mean stuff when i'm in a bad mood and she never accepts my apoliges what should i do ? help !!

Ask Sam



Thank you for having the courage to write to me. There will always be people who we don’t get on with as well as others. It’s not usually anyone’s fault, it’s just unlikely that everyone is going to be our friends. We can’t always change how we feel about someone but we can change how we treat them and our own behaviour.

I think it’s really good that you recognise this girl might feel bullied by what you say and that sometimes you can say mean things when you’re in a bad mood. It’s something we all do from time to time and it’s really mature of you to realise this.

You said that she never accepts your apologies - what might be a good idea is to talk to her when nothing has happened to upset either of you. The right time and place can make a huge difference to how a difficult conversation can work out.

You said that you’re scared she’ll tell a teacher – perhaps you can agree to go the teacher together so they can help you to both get things out in the open. Find out more about asking an adult for help.

Our bullying page has a section about what to do if you feel you might be bullying someone. Remember that if you want to talk about this with a counsellor, there’s always someone there for you. You can call on 0800 1111, log on for a 1-2-1 chat or email.

Take care,


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