Ask Sam letter

Asker

To Sam

Bullies

Its my second week in high school and I fell out with my closest friend from primary. Me and her go on the same bus home while all my other primary school friends go on the school bus. This girl that they don't like decided to walk with me to the bus stop and now they have started to say i'm two faced. I was sick and I had been sick today and they are saying that I'm lying and calling me a *****. I came home crying and I don't wanna tell anyone
Ask Sam

Sam

Hello,

Thank you for your letter. You’ve had a lot going on the last few weeks. Not only have you started high school, but you’ve also fallen out with a friend you’ve known since primary school. And now you’re being bullied by girls who are saying you’re two-faced and a liar. You’ve also been called names. That is cruel and hurtful and I can understand how it would make you cry.

If someone is bullying someone else, they will often use words that make the other person feel bad, uncomfortable, singled out and small. Their words are not true or about real facts. It’s very sad that anyone would feel the need to bully someone but, of course, I know it happens.

You’ve been so strong to write to me about this. I know you don’t want to tell anyone, but you’ve taken a really important first step in telling me. What’s happening to you isn’t your fault and it’s important that it stops. You’ve told me that you were really close with the friend you’ve fallen out with. Friendships do change over time and it might be that you already felt that you were growing apart. However you could really feel that your friendship is worth fighting for. A good friend should not try and stop you from spending time with other people. What do you think it would be like to write her a letter or send her an email, explaining how upset you feel by what’s been happening?

You might also want to think about talking to your new form tutor at high school. It’s not unusual for friends to have problems when they go through a big change, like moving schools. Your tutor might be able to give you some good advice and should certainly take it very seriously if you tell him or her that you are being called names.

Talking to a ChildLine counsellor is confidential and might also help you deal with the bullying. It could be really useful for you to talk with one of our counsellors about what’s happened since you wrote this letter. They could talk to you about ideas for keeping yourself safe from the bullies, and help you think about which adults could support you with that.  

You can phone for free on 0800 1111, log on for a 1-2-1 chat or send an email.

You may already be familiar with our website and the section on Bullying. But you also might want to take a look at our message board on bullying, where young people post messages about their experiences and support one another.

Take care

Sam

 

 

Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

Ask me a question

You can ask me about anything you want, there's nothing too big or small.

Write me a letter