Ask Sam letter


To Sam

Being accused of bulling

There is a girl in my class that bully's me but every time I tell an adult she denies everything and now she has told all the girls I bully her and cries when ever I walk past her and tells everyone I am to blame . My parents have been to see the school but it won't stop and now the teachers are on her side what do I do ?

From J*

Ask Sam


Hi J*,

I’m really pleased you’ve written to me as you’re going through something very difficult and it is something that we hear from lots of other young people too.

What’s happening to you is wrong and I’m really concerned to hear that you haven’t been listened to or believed. It sounds like this girl has very quickly realised that she might get into trouble and has managed to work the situation in her favour. This makes it really difficult for you to put your case forward. 

You shouldn’t have to put up with this and it’s really important not to give up trying.  What might help now is to keep a record of every time this girl does anything that upsets you and isn’t right. This can be as simple as a piece of paper you carry in your pocket that you fill in as soon as you can after the event happens. You should make a note of the date, time, what she said/did, where you were and how it made you feel. Collecting this information can help your teachers to see exactly what’s happening and help them to take you more seriously. It will also give your parents more to go back to school with if you need them to. It might also help if anyone is around and really sees what’s happening to make a note of their name by the incident so it’s not just down to you to remember everything.

Bullying is wrong and you shouldn’t have to put up with it. We have some more advice about bullying here, which I hope will be useful to you. Your school should have followed an anti-bullying policy when your parents came into the school. But it sounds like the school may not have done this properly by not listening to you. You could ask your parents to talk to them again as school might think it’s all sorted if nobody is telling them any different.

I understand that this bullying can really get to you so you can talk with one of the counsellors at ChildLine if you ever need some support with how this is making you feel. They will listen, support and help you to work through your options.

Take care,


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