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To Sam

been sexual abused at 11

Hi Sam I need some advise please,

these boys at my school have been touching me in places that I don't wanna be touched! now I told my mum and the school but I was wondering if u had any advise for me

many thanks

Ask Sam

Sam

Hi there,

If someone has touched you in places you don’t want to be touched, this is sexual abuse. It’s wrong and it’s illegal. No one is allowed to touch you sexually without you saying they can.

You haven’t done anything wrong, and talking about what’s happened is always okay.

You’ve done the right thing by telling your mum and school. The next thing to do is look after yourself and how you feel.

Sexual abuse is when someone touches you in private areas of your body or touches you in a sexual way that you didn’t agree to. If there is someone putting pressure on you to let them touch you or take your clothes off, this is wrong as well.

Sexual abuse can happen to boys, girls or transgender people, and the abuser can be any gender as well. The abuse can come from someone you know, love or trust - a boyfriend or girlfriend, and even a stranger.

Being abused is never your fault. It’s nothing to do with who you are as a person, what you’ve said or done. Some abusers want to feel power and control and often they’re aware that what they’re doing is wrong.

No one ever has the right to touch you in places you don’t want to be touched. Your body belongs to you and no one should ever make you do things that make you feel uncomfortable. Sometimes a doctor, a nurse or a family member might have to touch you for medical reasons, but they should always explain the reasons and ask you if it’s okay first.

Talking about what’s happened can lead to many different feelings and thoughts. You may worry what people might think and whether you’ll be believed. Sometimes people worry about getting the person who’s abusing them into trouble.

The most important thing about telling someone is that you stay safe. You shouldn’t have to go through this on your own.

Now you’ve told someone, you need to look after yourself and find a way to move on safely from what’s happened. Sometimes, speaking to a counsellor or therapist can help – especially if they’re used to talking to people who’ve been sexually abused. Your GP can help you organise this.

For a safe space to talk about any feelings or experiences, you can speak to one of our counsellors. They’re here to listen and support you whenever you feel you need it.

Take care,

Sam

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