Ask Sam letter


To Sam


hi my nane is b and i am wondering what is the prosses of adoption is it were your perents find out and get chance to hurt you evern more or is it where you get a privet look in to it and get adopted without notice to your perents also do you see your bother and sisters
Ask Sam



Thanks for writing in.

You’ve asked me some questions about adoption. Adoption is when a young person goes to live permanently with another family. It can happen for different reasons. Sometimes a parent might realise that they can’t look after their child properly. Other times a parent might want to keep their child, but social services and a judge decide that it isn’t safe for them to do that.

Social services want to make sure all children and young people are looked after and safe. If they find out that a young person is being hurt at home they will want to do something straight away. They will need to talk to the child and their parents about what’s been happening. They might decide to try and help the parents understand how to look after their child properly. If it is very unsafe at home, social services might need to take a child to live somewhere different. This could be with a relative (like an aunt or a grandparent), or in a children’s home, or a foster home.

Once social services decide that a young person can’t stay at home, it can take time to plan what will happen in the future. Adoption is one option, but a judge in court would have to agree that this was the best thing to happen. It might be decided that a young person will stay with a foster family for a while instead.

You asked about being able to see brothers and sisters if you are adopted. If brothers and sisters are getting hurt by their parents too, they might be adopted or fostered by the same people. This isn’t always possible though. Most times, social services would try and make sure young people stayed in contact with brothers and sisters if that it was safe and what the young person wanted. This might mean meeting them face to face or it might mean sending letters to each other.

In your letter you wrote about parents having the chance to hurt you. I want to let you know that no parent or carer should hurt their children at any time. It sounds like things might be tough for you at home at the moment. It would be really good if you could talk with a Childline counsellor by logging in for a 1-2-1 chat or calling for free on 0800 1111. They are confidential, so they won’t tell anyone about your call unless your life is in danger. If you ever feel like someone is going to hurt you, it’s ok to call 999 to get help straight away.

Hope this has been of some help,


Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

Ask me a question

You can ask me about anything you want, there's nothing too big or small.

Write me a letter