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adoption

hi
i was adopted when i was 2. as the years went on i have fond it relly hard. my adopted mum shouts. she has hit, loked me in my room severel times. it hapend a copel of years a go but she stil shouts. im worred it mit hapen again.

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Sam

Hi

Thanks for writing to me. I can hear that things are really difficult for you at home. It seems you have been coping with this for a long time.

It isn’t right that your adopted mum shouts and has hit you and locked you in your room in the past. Nobody has the right to hurt you. Nobody has the right to lock you in a room, as you have the right to be safe. What your adopted mum is doing is physical and emotional abuse. You can read more about abuse in the Explore pages.

Even though it hasn’t happened for a couple of years it sounds like you still feel scared by what happened. It makes sense that you are worried about whether it will happen again. It would be good to think about ways of keeping yourself safe at home if mum gets angry. Perhaps there is a relative you can all, or a room where you can stay out of her way. If you ever feel like you are in danger, you could call 999 to get help.

I want you to know that you have a right to be safe and happy at home, and that you deserve to keep getting all the support you need to make that happen. If anything did happen again maybe you would think about telling someone, like a teacher or a school nurse. If an adult works with children, part of their job is to help those children stay safe. You don’t have to wait for it to happen again if you don’t want to. You could still tell an adult about what happened in the past. It might be that they put you in touch with people who could help you and mum to work on your relationship, like family support workers, and counsellors.

It can be hard talking about abuse for the first time so maybe you would like to do that with a ChildLine counsellor. They are there to listen and support you without judging you. You can call on 0800 1111 or log on for a 1-2-1 chat. You could also look at the message boards to see other young people's experiences of feeling unsafe at home. You might find it helpful to see what advice other people have offered them. You could also think about calling TALKadoption, on 0808 808 1234. They are a free helpline for any young person who has been affected by adoption. Their confidentiality policy might be different from ChildLine, so remember that it’s ok to ask them about this first, if you’re worried about them passing any information on.

Take care

Sam

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