Ask Sam letter

Asker

To Sam

Abusive alcoholic mum

Me and my mum have never really got along. She's very aggressive and stubborn and hard to talk to. Last night she leaned over the car while she was driving and back handed me across my face and my earring fell out she then pulled my hair three times so I threw my food in the back of her car and messed up her car. I just wanna know is it normal for my mum to hit me like this and am I over reacting? And I feel bad I messed up her car and think its my fault is this normal. She had a drink before she started driving and was speeding quite fast and I felt on danger through the whole journey. I just don't know anymore this has to stop
Ask Sam

Sam

Hello,

Thank you for writing to me.

It sounds like things are really tough for you at home with your mum. You mention that you feel bad for messing her car up after throwing your food in the car, sometimes when someone hurts us we react in ways that we regret afterwards. This happened after your mum hit you around the face and pulled your hair, I do not feel you are over reacting, no one, not even your parent, has the right to hit you or touch you in any way that you are not happy with, this is called physical abuse. You can read more about abuse in the Explore section on our website.

You also mentioned that mum had a drink before driving, having any alcoholic drink before driving can potentially be extremely dangerous and depending on how much she had to drink she could be breaking the law. You might find it helpful to have a look at Alateen which gives information for young people affected by someone (like a family member) with alcohol problems. There is also the National Association for Children of Alcoholics which offers information, advice and support. They have a free-phone helpline which is 0800 358 3456.  

Your relationship with mum sounds really strained as you say she is stubborn and aggressive, it can be difficult to have to deal with this alone, maybe it would help to talk to one of our counsellors about how things are at home you can either call us on 0800 1111 (this is a free-phone number) or have a 1-2-1 chat which is a little like msn. 

You might also like to take a look at our Message Board on Home and Family Relationships this is where young people like yourself can share experiences and advice.

Well done again for writing to me,

Take care,

Sam

Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

Ask me a question

You can ask me about anything you want, there's nothing too big or small.

Write me a letter