Ask Sam letter


To Sam

about me and my mum

I am writing to you to tell you about my life
i have a mum who smacks me all the time for nothing and last night she said to me if i back chat her again she will whip me and when i have the dog on my bed she smacked me up the head and smacked me on my lap and it hurts and i talk to her saying how it hurts my feelings And she said she understands but she doesn’t do it
Ask Sam


Hi there,

Thank you for your letter, I am really glad that you have decided to get in touch to tell me about your life. It sounds like things are quite difficult for you at the moment.

You say that your mum smacks you for nothing, and that she uses threatening language when you back chat. You say that it hurts and that you have tried to talk to her about your feelings but that it hasn’t stopped her from hurting you. 

You were very brave to tell your mum how you feel and it is not your fault that she didn't listen, it's also not your fault that she behaves the way she does. Nobody deserves to be hit and hurt by anybody. Your mum’s behaviour is unacceptable, and It sounds like you are being physically abused by your mum (you can read more about physical abuse in Explore). Your mum may need some support with thinking about her behaviour, but this is not your resposibility.

Sadly, lots of children and young people experience physical abuse from a parent or other relative but they keep it quiet. You have done the right thing writing to me. It sounds like you really want the hitting to stop, and there are people out there who care and who could help you.  

You could speak to a teacher, a school nurse or youth worker. When people work with children, part of their job is about helping them to stay safe. They would be concerned to hear what you are going through, and they would want to help you. This might mean that they would have to pass the information on to someone else (like social services), in order get you some help.

You can also contact a ChildLine counsellor if you want to talk confidentially. The ChildLine counsellors won't pass your information to anyone outside ChildLine unless they think your life is at risk (read more about ChildLine's confidentiality here). You can get in touch by logging in for a 1-2-1 chat (which works like instant messenger) or you can call 0800 1111 (this is a free number even from a mobile and it won’t show up on your bill).

Take care


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You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

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