Thanks for writing to me, it sounds like things have been a real struggle. I’m very pleased you have asked me for some advice and support.
You’ve told me that you’re getting bullied and this should not be happening. It’s important that it’s made to stop. You deserve to feel safe and comfortable when you’re at school. It sounds like people are making fun of the fact that you’re family doesn’t have much money right now. A lot of families are having the same problem, and it is really not ok for anyone to bully you because of it. You might find it useful to read the page about money worries in Explore.
You say you can’t help yourself anymore and that you feel you will die if you don’t get help. It sounds like the bullying has really got you down and you’re feeling very low. It’s so important to remember how strong and brave you have been to cope with this for so long on your own. There are different things that can be done to stop the bullying. I want you to know that I really don’t think dying is the answer. It might be hard to believe at the moment, but you will get through this difficult time. ChildLine is here to support you with that.
The first step can often be the hardest. I’d encourage you to start by tell a trusted adult about the bullying. People can only help you if they know just how difficult things are for you. You might have already told someone, but it’s ok to keep telling people until you get the help you need. Sometimes it takes a few conversations before adults really understand how hard you are finding things.
Another thing to try would be to keep a bullying diary. You would write down what happens, when it happens, who bullies you, and most importantly how it makes you feel. This is a good way of expressing your feelings. It also creates a clear record of what’s happening and the effect it is having on you. This could be a very powerful thing to share with a trusted adult.
It sounds like school can be quite a lonely experience and I’m wondering if there’s any school based activities or local safe youth clubs you could join? This could be a way of making friendships and boosting your confidence and self-esteem.
Thanks again for your open and honest letter to me. For further help and support you’d be welcome to contact the Childline counsellors. You’re never on your own and things can change and feel better with the right support.