Self-harm | Damaging yourself | Explore

Self-harm is when people set out to hurt themselves or damage their health deliberately - sometimes this is done in secret. Self-harm can include cutting, burning, bruising or poisoning, but does not normally mean that someone wants to take their own life.

If you ever feel like hurting yourself, please remember you’re not alone- ChildLine is here for you. You can talk to us about how you’re feeling, and if you want to, we can help you to find different ways of dealing with these difficult emotions.

TRIGGER WARNING This page contain information about self-harm which may be triggering.

I want to hurt myself, what can I do?
It’s often good to think about the emotion you’re feeling when you want to self-harm, this can help you come up with a different way of dealing with it.

Have look at the reasons why people self-harm, do you identify with one of these? You can use these feelings as a way of thinking about some new coping techniques:

An arm that says 'letting it out doesn't have to leave a scar' Feeling angry?
You could try: screwing up paper and throwing it, snapping twigs, running, doing some exercise, squeezing clay, hitting a rolled up newspaper on a door frame, screaming, crying, or a cold shower.

Do you feel like you hate yourself or that you’re not good enough
(low self-esteem)?
You could try: having a bath, listening to music, burning incense, phoning a friend, writing, painting, or listing good things about yourself.

Do you feel like you can’t control things in your life?
You could try: organising something, cleaning or tidying, solving a puzzle, setting a target time (e.g. saying you won’t harm for 15 minutes, and then if you can last, try another 15 minutes).

Do you feel numb or like a ‘zombie’?
You could try: being around people who make you feel good, craft activities, make a photo collage, focusing on something like breathing, playing an instrument, baking, playing computer games.

Do you feel like you want to escape from your life or a difficult situation?
You could try a hot or cold shower, drawing on the body with red pen, massaging lotion into the places you would normally harm, squeezing ice cubes or biting on lemon for the “shock factor,” or painting nails.

You can talk to ChildLine any time you feel out of control or that you might self-harm. We will be here anytime you feel like hurting yourself and you can talk to us about anything.

Why do young people self-harm?

There are lots of reasons why young people might self-harm - the need to hurt themselves usually comes from emotions that are very difficult for them to cope with.

Young people might self-harm because it's a way of releasing tension or anger. It’s a physical pain that they can deal with, rather than an emotional feeling that they find hard to cope with. It can also be a way of controlling something, especially if they feel that other parts of their life are out of control or they are trapped in a difficult situation.

Self-harm can also be used as a form of self-punishment for something that a young person feels bad about.

Low-self esteem and feeling that they are not good enough in some way can trigger young people to self-harm. Others self-harm to try and break through feeling numb or 'like a zombie'. The reasons for self-harming can be very personal so if you don't know why you self-harm that's ok. You can contact a ChildLine counsellor at any time, they can help you think about the feelings that make you want to self-harm.

It can be hard to stop self-harming

Self-harm can be addictive at times and it can become a habit - a way of avoiding difficult emotions.

For some young people who are not helped to stop self-harming, there is a risk that their self-harm could go too far and cause serious damage or accidental death.

If you’re are feeling desperate or are considering suicide, ChildLine can help you. You can talk to us about how you feel and we will always listen to you - we care about you. We can help you to look at what you would like to change in your life so that things can get better, and support you to find a way of making those changes happen.

We can also help you plan how to get other support if you want it, including emergency help if your life is in danger. You can speak to a counsellor by calling free on 0800 1111 or through 1-2-1 chat online (like msn).

Who self-harms?

There are lots of myths about the kind of people who self-harm, however what is clear is that self-harm is something that people from all walks of life can struggle with. This does not depend on your sex, age, religion or background. The important fact to remember is that you are not alone in this. Please remember ChildLine is here to listen and support you. You can also talk to other young people who have or are experiencing similar feelings on our self-harm message board.
How do people self-harm?

There are many ways that people self-harm. These might include:

• Cutting or scratching
• Causing bruises
• Banging heads against walls
• Pulling out hair
• Burning
• Falling over
• Breaking an arm or leg
Why do people start to self-harm?

Everyone will have a different trigger for starting to self-harm. Some young people start self-harming after being abused or bullied, or as a reaction to a stressful event. It doesn't have to be a big thing- an argument or a situation that made them feel embarrassed or left them feeling upset or depressed.
How do I tell someone I'm self-harming?

Often it can be difficult for someone to understand why they are self-harming, therefore finding words to explain it to another person can be hard. It’s very good that you’ve decided you want to tell someone that you are self-harming, and you should acknowledge that that’s a very brave first step.
Is there someone in your life you feel you could trust and would feel comfortable speaking to? This could be your mum or dad, a teacher, a doctor, or an adult that you feel you can trust.
Once you’ve thought about who you’d like to tell, you could then think about how you’d tell them. You might like to speak to a ChildLine counsellor first and practise the conversation with them, to help build your confidence. You might also find it helpful to keep a diary, or to write a letter to the person, which you could share with them when you are ready.
Unfortunately you can’t guarantee how someone is going to react when you tell them about self-harming. They might find the conversation upsetting or uncomfortable, not know what to say or react in a way you did not expect or do not find helpful. If this happens you can speak to a counsellor at ChildLine who can support you and help you think about your next steps. It’s important to remember that you are never alone and that ChildLine will always be here to listen to you.
My friend is self-harming, how can I help them?

Discovering someone you care about is self-harming can leave you feeling worried, confused and a bit helpless, but there are things you can do to help:

- Remember that it may have been really difficult for them to have told you about this and not to judge them for what they are telling you.
- Listen to how they feel, sometimes just being there for your friend may be what they need.
- Encourage them to get support with how they are feeling.
- Look after yourself and make sure that you get support as well.

Remember that ChildLine is here to listen whenever you or your friend need us.
How do I know if I need medical help after I’ve harmed myself?

It’s really important that you get medical attention for any injury that’s worrying you. Don’t rely on the internet to get medical advice always go to your doctor or the Accident and Emergency department of your local hospital if you need help urgently. If your life is in danger call 999 straight away.