Neglect

                 
                            Neglect is when you are not being looked after or supported properly by your parents or carers (including foster parents or care staff, if you are in care). If the people who are supposed to look after you don’t usually give you the important things you need, or make it hard for you to take care of yourself, then this is neglect.

Neglect

Transcript

I ran away from home a few times. They always said they’d been worried about me but nothing ever changed. They just went out and got drunk again. There was never anything in the house. No food, no nothing. I could look after myself, but it never got better.

I hated it when my Mum and Dad were like that, but I didn’t hate them. I didn’t want them to go to prison or anything, I just wanted it to stop.

I didn’t want to hide it anymore, so I called ChildLine. When I got through I just waited to see what they’d say. I rang them a few times, just testing, and when I knew they were all right I talked.

Later, they got in contact with my parents and they got help. They’re better now. I still talk to ChildLine about stuff like school. It’s nice to be able to talk to someone that listens.

How do I know if I'm being neglected? Being looked after properly means that you feel confident that you will have access to these things when you need them:

Clean, warm clothes or shoes
Enough to eat and drink
Protection and guidance to keep you away from dangerous situations
Somewhere warm and comfortable to sleep
Help when you're are ill or you've been hurt
Comfort and affection
Support with getting your education.

Being looked after properly also means that you are not left alone for a long time, or given too much responsibility for looking after other people in your family, without getting any support from an adult.

If any of this is happening to you, you might think that it's your fault. It isn't. Every child and young person has the right to be well looked after, but sometimes parents and carers are not able to manage this by themselves. If you speak out about neglect, there are people who care - they will listen to you and help you.

How can I tell people I am being neglected if I’m too embarrassed?
Being neglected can make life difficult for you in lots of ways. It might be that it is hard to keep yourself or your clothes clean, that you are always hungry or tired, or that you never have any money.

You might not want to tell other people if you are worried about what they will think, but it is really important to remember that this is not your fault. The people who are there to help when young people are neglected (like social workers, police and even your teachers) will have helped other children in similar situations, and they will just want to find ways to make things better for you.

If you are worried about anything to do with neglect, you can always talk to ChildLine – we are here for you no matter how big or small your worry.

Will I get my parents into trouble if I tell someone about being neglected?
There can be lots of different reasons why your parent or carer might be neglecting you. It might be that they are doing their best but just don’t have enough money. Maybe they have a problem with alcohol or drugs, or are having problems with their mental health. Whatever the reason is, it is still your parents’ job to make sure you are properly looked after. There are people who can help your parents with whatever problems they are having, and it is important that they get the help they need.

If I talk to someone, will I be taken into care?

No, speaking to someone about being neglected doesn't mean that you'll automatically be taken into care. The Police and Social Services are there to protect you from being neglected, but they will usually only put you in care if they think it’s too dangerous for you to live at home.

There could be lots of different reasons why your parents or carers are finding it difficult to look after you. Social services are there to help your parents work out what’s going wrong and get them the support they need to make things better. A first step to your family getting this help is to talk to someone you trust such as a teacher or a friend's parent and tell them what is happening. If you feel that you don’t want to talk to anyone about what's happening or are too scared, you can talk to ChildLine and we can help.
What will happen to my brothers and sisters?

If social services get involved then they will try really hard to find a way of helping your family all stay together if it is safe to do that. Sometimes Social Services will need brothers and sisters to live in different places in order to make sure that each child is looked after properly. Unfortunately it isn’t always possible to promise that you would all stay together.
Someone in my family is ill or has a disability. I have to spend a lot of time helping them - does this mean I am neglected?

A young carer is a young person who helps to look after a relative who has a disability or illness (including mental health problems), or a drug or alcohol problem. If you are a young carer, you should still have enough free time to do your school work, see friends or just chill out for a bit.

Social services are there to help you and the person you are caring for, so that you don’t end up struggling. If it feels like you are not getting enough support with being a young carer, it is a good idea to ask for some help. You can always talk to ChildLine about anything that is worrying you.
I’m worried that my friend is being neglected but I don’t want to upset them by asking about it.

It’s really good that you are looking out for your friend. Neglect is quite common (one in ten 11-17 year olds have experienced severe neglect)* so if you are worried about someone, it is a good idea to share how you feel. You shouldn’t have to deal with your worries by yourself.

Maybe you could start by talking to an adult that you trust, or even giving ChildLine a call on 0800 1111 or contacting us online and telling us what’s on your mind, if you don’t feel comfortable asking your friend about it directly.

*From: NSPCC (2011) 'Child abuse and neglect in the UK today' London: NSPCC.

Call ChildLine

You can call ChildLine at any time on 0800 1111 to speak to a counsellor. Calls are free and confidential.

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Transcript

If I talk to someone, will I be taken into care?

What will happen to my brothers and sisters?

Someone in my family is ill or has a disability. I have to spend a lot of time helping them - does this mean I am neglected?

I’m worried that my friend is being neglected but I don’t want to upset them by asking about it.

Call ChildLine

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Neglect

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Neglect

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Neglect

Transcript

Watch a video

If I talk to someone, will I be taken into care?

What will happen to my brothers and sisters?

Someone in my family is ill or has a disability. I have to spend a lot of time helping them - does this mean I am neglected?

I’m worried that my friend is being neglected but I don’t want to upset them by asking about it.

Call ChildLine

Watch a video

Was this information about neglect useful to you?

Neglect

Anything missing?

Accessibility

Help

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