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Topic
 losing my aunt

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  • amz4799

    29 June 2012 at 22:31

    losing my aunt

     

    I am 15 years old and on feburary 10th the most important person in my life was taken away from me. She was more than my aunt, I thought of her as another mum and she thought of me as her daughter. We found out in early Janurary that she had terminal liver cancer and just a few weeks later it had spread to her lungs, throat and arms. Losing her is the hardest thing I have ever had to go through. I am finding it so hard to cope. Some days I am fine other days I just snap and lash out at someone or throw something across the room. I just get so angry over the fact that she is gone and there is nothing I can or could have done about it.

    My parents don't really know how to help me and I have tried counselling but it didn't help.

    If anyone has any advice on how I can cope that would be great.
  • mouseandcat1

    04 July 2012 at 22:23

     

    I'm sorry for your loss.  Everybody looses somebody they love during sometime in their life, but you have to remember that that person wouldn't have wanted you to be sad.  Remember your aunt for her good qualities, and celebrate her life. 

    Try writing down happy memories and put them inside a decorated box with pictures ect, or you can put them inside a balloon and let if float away, realising you sadness and anger and replaced with a happy memory of her.

    Hope I've helped :)
  • amz4799

    06 July 2012 at 07:41

     

    Thank you for your reply mousecat1. I may try that.

    The only problem is I have lots of amazing and happy memories of my aunt but that is what is making me sad because I know that I will never be able to experience them again or make any more happy memories with her.

    I know that what I am feeling is probably grief but I have never experienced these feelings before and it scares me sometimes how frustrated I get at the smallest of things.

    But thank you very much for your reply.
  • gottakeeptrying

    07 July 2012 at 17:57

     

    aww sweetheart i really feel for you. My nan died a year ago and i must admit it still hurts, but there are gonna be times when you think less about her, however impossible that sounds. I have been exsactly the same as you. I can be find and jolly etc.. one day, and the next i will get dead irritable, become really aggresive and will lash out at people I normally love and care about.

    Coping is difficult and i havnt managed to do it too well. The suggestioins of the person above me are good, but i also find writing down your emotions to be good. Talking to a friend who you really trust and who understands what your going through can also be good. You could also try things that distract you; Play video games, go see a movie, read a good book. But dont just sit there, do nothing and cry over it all. It will only make it worse. Im not saying you should forget about her, just that you should distract yourself from thinking about her, and hopefully you can slowly come to terms with your loss.

    It may not happen quickly, it certainly hasnt for me as its been a year now and im still not coping sometimes, and that is normal. However you shouldnt dwell on the past, but look for distractions that will help you move on and look to the future.

    If you can deal with this, you can deal with anything life throws at you. xxx

    And if you ever wanna talk to me, just post on this thread and i will get back to you. I will try and support you because i know how hard this is xx

    All the best xx

    Gottakeeptrying xxx
  • amz4799

    08 July 2012 at 08:08

     

    Thank you gottakeeptryin you have really helped.

    It is good to know that there are other people out there that know what I am going through and can help.

    The only problem is that whenever I read a book I think of her because we both had the same passion for reading and I went to the movies with some friends but I still thought of her because she also had leg swelling so couldn't walk around a lot so couldn't have gone and seen any films with us which is something that we were trying to figure out how to do before she passed.

    And I know youw will think that I do but I really don't have any friends that I can talk to about this. None of them have asked me how I am doing and one even asked me a couple of weeks ago if I would miss them if they died and if I would cry I nearly ran out of the room. THEY JUST DON'T THINK!

    But it is good to know that I can talk to you if I need it so thank you and I am sorry for your loss.
  • gottakeeptrying

    08 July 2012 at 19:14

     
    amz4799 - Today at 08:08

     

    Thank you gottakeeptryin you have really helped.

    It is good to know that there are other people out there that know what I am going through and can help.

    The only problem is that whenever I read a book I think of her because we both had the same passion for reading and I went to the movies with some friends but I still thought of her because she also had leg swelling so couldn't walk around a lot so couldn't have gone and seen any films with us which is something that we were trying to figure out how to do before she passed.

    And I know youw will think that I do but I really don't have any friends that I can talk to about this. None of them have asked me how I am doing and one even asked me a couple of weeks ago if I would miss them if they died and if I would cry I nearly ran out of the room. THEY JUST DON'T THINK!

    But it is good to know that I can talk to you if I need it so thank you and I am sorry for your loss.

     

    I know what you mean when you say you have no friends to talk to. I was very fortunate to find 1 friend who I met online who was soo supportive and still is. If you cant find a supportive friend in the real world, talk to me. I will be that supportive and understanding friend who will help you through all this. I get what you mean by your friends not asking how you are. My friend never asked how i was, and the day i was away because i had found out the news i recieved texts calling me a skiver which was very upsetting. Some friends are inconsiderate as they dont know what you are going through, and its not their fault.

    Reading was just a suggestion, you can try anything that may distract you. When i lost my nan she had a great passion for card making, and i dabbled in making cards a lot, It helped to distract me from her passing and helped me continue in a hobby she loved.

    its nice to know you now feel you have someone to talk to, and i will be here for you for as long as you need me, beacause I know how hard it is. This wont be an easy journey, but you will emerge as a stronger person. xx

    take care xx

    Gottakeeptrying xxx
  • amz4799

    08 July 2012 at 20:43

     

    It feels so good to hear you say that.

    All my life I have been the supportive one but know one has ever supported me until now.

    We don't even know eachother and you are already more supportive than my friends have been.

    Thank you, it means a lot to know that I have someone that I can talk to.
  • gottakeeptrying

    10 July 2012 at 00:35

     
    amz4799 - 08 July 2012 at 20:43

     

    It feels so good to hear you say that.

    All my life I have been the supportive one but know one has ever supported me until now.

    We don't even know eachother and you are already more supportive than my friends have been.

    Thank you, it means a lot to know that I have someone that I can talk to.

     

    Not a problem xx

    I know what you mean. Iv supported my friend through her diabetes diagnosis and you feel you have helped everyone but no one cares to help you.

    Its true we dont know eachother, but we both share that common goal of getting over the passing of our loved ones. This life wasnt meant to be easy and once we have made our way through this, together, we will be stronger people and will be able to handle annything thrown at us again.

    have a nice day xx

    Gottakeeptrying xx
  • amz4799

    12 July 2012 at 20:29

     
    gottakeeptrying - 10 July 2012 at 00:35

     

    Not a problem xx

    I know what you mean. Iv supported my friend through her diabetes diagnosis and you feel you have helped everyone but no one cares to help you.

    Its true we dont know eachother, but we both share that common goal of getting over the passing of our loved ones. This life wasnt meant to be easy and once we have made our way through this, together, we will be stronger people and will be able to handle annything thrown at us again.

    have a nice day xx

    Gottakeeptrying xx

     

    Today was so bad.

    I went to alton towers with my school and thought I would really enjoy it but I didn't.

    All I could think of was my aunt and how she mcuh she would have loved to hear about it.

    I had a breakdown it is my second one this month.

    I am so scared. I have never had such intense feelings before and they are all coming at once.

    They have been getting more extreme over the past months.

    I feel like crying so much of the time.

    She was such a huge part of my life and now she is gone. I still hope that one day I will answer the phone and hear her 'cooee' down the other end.

    It is just getting harder.

    I really need a friend right now but none of my friends are very supportive. One even asked me the other week that if they died if I would miss them and if I would cry. Did she not get that I am still getting over the death of my aunt?!?!

    I just need someone to help me get through and hug me and tell me that it is going to be ok.

    I don't even have that.

    Amz4799 x

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