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Cancers spread! So scared!

  • Charlie7407

    04 January 2012 at 10:11

     
    Karlie07 - 03 January 2012 at 12:49

     

    Hi everyone,

    so sorry ive not written bk, thankyou so much for all ur messages (and charlie for ur 2!!) im ok, im getting pretty run down and tired at the moment, pain is becoming a massive issue so am quite drugged up a lot of the time. however i had literally the most amazing christmas ever!!! some celebrities came to visit the hospital, which ws amazing and so exciting, then on christmas day a father christmas came round and all my family spent the entire day at the hospital with me....even tho i slept most of the day when i was awake at all they were all there and my sisters ended up staying the night and we had a really girlie sleepvoer with another one of the girls in hopsital here with me. the pain is really annoying and hurts a lot but im trying to be brave and just get thru it., i am getting on with organising my party which is in two wkends time, im really excited and for christmas i got an ipad (im using it right now!!! HI!!!) and ive been looking on loads of websites for something pretty to wear to the party, im hopefully going to get a wig where u can striaghten and curl the hair as well and make that look nice...exciting!

    anyway sorry im not replying individaully to everyone but i just get sooooo tired, pls write bk to me and let me know whats going on in ur lifes,,,,,i love love love hearing from anybodu but espec those people ive spoken lots to, u have no idea how much it brightnes up my day! LOADS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    LOVE TO YOU ALL.....AND happy new year|!!!! hope 2012 is the best year ever for u all,

    alll my love always,

    Karlie xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

     

    Hello! Lovely to hear from you! :)

    I'm really glad you had a wonderful christmas you really deserve it :) wow! celebritys ehh? Thats cool :P Which ones did you meet? Aww thats sweet of your family to stay with you all day :) Did you get anything good off santa or your family?  Aww nice an ipad that will keep you busy when your bored wont it :) I'm really excited for your party. I hope it all goes to plan! Your gonna look gorgeus i'm sure. Please tell me how it goes :)

    I dont mind you not replying. I'm just glad to hear your ok :D Nothing much is happening i had a good christmas too :) I got a scan today at 4 for my stomache pains. We've been waitng ages for one! So i'm really happy about that. Only thing is I have to go on a full bladder or they fill me up with water! That doesn't sound nice i hope we dont get stuck in traffic on the way there lol I start backk at school tomorrrow quite looking forward to it. I love hearing from you too your so inspirational! Keep us updated and dont worry if you cant reply dont push yourself too hard we understand :)

    Lots of love sent straight in your direction... Telepaphy through the screen *Uses super strong mind powers* (Ok gonna shut up i have confused myself haha) Happy new year to you too! Its gonna be great for all of us. Keep your head held high.

    Take care and stay strong! Charlie7407  xxxx

  • Likeadream-nocontrol

    04 January 2012 at 14:45

     

     hi sweetie, dont you dare be scared! :) ok it wont hurt at all ok, sorry..it will just be like slipping in to a sleep..im sorry for saying that to you but i just want try and comfort you..and i  think i sweet idea but might be hard for you is to find a like notebook or peices of paper whatever you can find and do a little thing to your family and friends?? and you will be i a safe place and i know and i know 1 person that for sure will luk after you :) but please talk to me even if its almost everyday if you want im here for you :) okkkk...so i will message you if i can dont know if you can do that on here :) hurts-noneedtohurt xxxx

  • essexgirl818

    04 January 2012 at 17:20

     
    Karlie07 - 03 January 2012 at 12:49

     

    Hi everyone,

    so sorry ive not written bk, thankyou so much for all ur messages (and charlie for ur 2!!) im ok, im getting pretty run down and tired at the moment, pain is becoming a massive issue so am quite drugged up a lot of the time. however i had literally the most amazing christmas ever!!! some celebrities came to visit the hospital, which ws amazing and so exciting, then on christmas day a father christmas came round and all my family spent the entire day at the hospital with me....even tho i slept most of the day when i was awake at all they were all there and my sisters ended up staying the night and we had a really girlie sleepvoer with another one of the girls in hopsital here with me. the pain is really annoying and hurts a lot but im trying to be brave and just get thru it., i am getting on with organising my party which is in two wkends time, im really excited and for christmas i got an ipad (im using it right now!!! HI!!!) and ive been looking on loads of websites for something pretty to wear to the party, im hopefully going to get a wig where u can striaghten and curl the hair as well and make that look nice...exciting!

    anyway sorry im not replying individaully to everyone but i just get sooooo tired, pls write bk to me and let me know whats going on in ur lifes,,,,,i love love love hearing from anybodu but espec those people ive spoken lots to, u have no idea how much it brightnes up my day! LOADS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    LOVE TO YOU ALL.....AND happy new year|!!!! hope 2012 is the best year ever for u all,

    alll my love always,

    Karlie xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

     

    Hunni that is fine as it sounds like you had fun :) thank you ever so much and you too.

    All my love,

    Nina

    xxxxx

  • SilverMoonLight

    04 January 2012 at 18:13

     
    Karlie07 - 03 January 2012 at 12:49

     

    Hi everyone,

    so sorry ive not written bk, thankyou so much for all ur messages (and charlie for ur 2!!) im ok, im getting pretty run down and tired at the moment, pain is becoming a massive issue so am quite drugged up a lot of the time. however i had literally the most amazing christmas ever!!! some celebrities came to visit the hospital, which ws amazing and so exciting, then on christmas day a father christmas came round and all my family spent the entire day at the hospital with me....even tho i slept most of the day when i was awake at all they were all there and my sisters ended up staying the night and we had a really girlie sleepvoer with another one of the girls in hopsital here with me. the pain is really annoying and hurts a lot but im trying to be brave and just get thru it., i am getting on with organising my party which is in two wkends time, im really excited and for christmas i got an ipad (im using it right now!!! HI!!!) and ive been looking on loads of websites for something pretty to wear to the party, im hopefully going to get a wig where u can striaghten and curl the hair as well and make that look nice...exciting!

    anyway sorry im not replying individaully to everyone but i just get sooooo tired, pls write bk to me and let me know whats going on in ur lifes,,,,,i love love love hearing from anybodu but espec those people ive spoken lots to, u have no idea how much it brightnes up my day! LOADS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    LOVE TO YOU ALL.....AND happy new year|!!!! hope 2012 is the best year ever for u all,

    alll my love always,

    Karlie xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

     

     ah huni im sooo glad to hear from u x i was getting quite worried! <3

    thats fab that u had a good christmas huni, sounds like u had lots of fun x and wow an ipad thats so cool! my friends got one and every time i got round we just play on it and download loads of random apps hehe :P got any cool apps yet? my faverouit one is called "abduction" and u have to get the cow up into a spaceship ;-) haha

    my little life is going alrite at the moment :D i havent cut for about a week now, but we had PSHE at school today and i was waring a thick bracelette to cover up the scares and my form tutor saw and stared joking about emo people and cutts :-/ i was so so emberessed >.< but i laughed it off and it was fine 
    but yh was the first day back to school today so not alot really happened x we have a new head teacher, but i dont really know her x 

    but other than that not alot really happened x so sorry to hear about the pain though, and dont worrie about not replying to us indevidually sweetie thats fine, i just wanted to make sure u were still ok! <3 

    bigg huggs to u and hope u feel better soon and hope that party goes well x 

    TakeCare,
    Silver Xx

  • sazoo

    05 January 2012 at 23:32

     
    Karlie07 - 10 December 2011 at 01:16

     

    Hi!

    firstly thanku sooooooooooo much for replying to me. you have no idea what it means to me!!!!!! sorry its taken me a little while to write back, i got taken into hospital again in the early hours of tuesday morning coz i had trouble breathing and was in lots of pain, i got taken to intensive care and got really scared coz i thought 'it' was going to happen. but it didnt :) i got given a special mask to help me breathe (its even noiser that the oxygen) and got given lots of medicine to help the pain. things are a little bit better now and im on a normal ward again. the pain is still bad but the medicine keeps making me sleepy which helps me rest but it just hurts if i move to much. ive been asleep all day and now again that its nighttime my eyes dont want to close...rubbish!am trying to b a bit more positive tho as i thort that was it on tues...but it wasnt so i shld just b thankful that i have got even more time with all the people around me! Thankyou so very much for replying to me, its been so nice to see people have writtenback. it stops the boredom, distracts me and most of all it stops me from feeling so lonely, so from all of my heart thanku thanku thanku!!! xxxx

    HI FIVE; thanku for ur msg, it really means a lot. i hope u are ok. sending u lots of love xxxxxxx

    SILVER; MASSIVE HUG AND SQUEEZE BACK!!!!!yeah i agree, although being positive is really hard when i know what the outcome is going to b, it does really help to make me feel like im making the most of the moments i do have. some people dont even get this long with there familys or never get the chance to tell important people how much they love them...ive got that chance and im trying to take it :)i am really scared and i feel like i spend way too much time crying, its helped tlking to the nurse but at the end of the day i dnt think i can do anything but b a little bit sad and scared coz unfortunatley nothing is going to change whats going to happen. Thanku once again for replying, u truly do help me not to feel so alone! its so nice to see a reply from u!
    love u loads and loads and more massive cuddles heading straight to u xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

    KIZ; im so very sorry to hear what u have been thru, u sound amazing to have coped with all of that. massive inspiration. unfortunatley the cancer is definatlety progressed so far that there will only b one outcome but i am trying very hard to stay positve and enjoy each day to the full, even if somedays it means that all i can achieve is brushing my teeth and changing in to clean pjs i think its better than nothing?! havew u done lots of things on that list that u wanted to do? i cant do lots of the things on my list now but me and my big sisters sat and talked about them this evening as if we had done them, it was fun! i said how i wanted to go to the beach (but its far to cold now and we cant take the oxygen on long journeys) so my sister brought me in a little pot of sand, when im up to it we are goiing to find some music with waves on and then put sand on our feet so it feels like we r there...i think we will just end up getting very messy! oopps! but it sounds fun too. thanku for all ur lovely words, i hope that when the time comes everything is right and that people do remember happy things not just sad things. more than i want to get better ( which i wish i cld so veryh much) i want my family to b happy. that wld mean so much to me. thanku for really understanding me, it feels like very few people do, but i guess not many people as young as us face the fear of death. scary hey!thanku again and thanku for being so inspirational., ur so very brave xxxxx

    CHARLIE; Hello my lovely, thanku for replying :) yeah it suchs having a chest infection and it is really scary that its sped everything up, i just feel really poorly, but i am just trying to enjoy each day as much as i can, and i do realise im fortunate enough im even here for a tiny bit longer, so many people dnt even get the time ive already had! i do feel better than i did yesterday but guess im feeling worse than a week ago which sucks, i am still fighting and its just made me want to fight harder, i realise i cant beat it but i just want each day to mean something not just sit and wait to go. im not sure about what ur doctor said, im in pain all the time, i guess its better when i dnt think about it but its defo stilll there! if that really worked then no1 wld ever feel pain ...right?however its a lot more fun smiling than being sad even if it does take more effort! i love that jessie J song sooooo much! i think its amazing, i love the words, seeing is decieving, dreaming is believing! i love it!!!! thanku for reminding me of it, im going to listen to it on my ipod in a min to try and think of nice things! what other songs do u like? do u watch the xfactor? i hope i can watch it tomoz but i will prob fall asleep! yeah the list is nice and safe, ive given it to my oldest sister and shes going to look after it. that sounds like such a cool idea about ur mum doing a skydive, my mum and dad always wanted to do a hot air ballon ride, dad booked one but i was too poorly for them to go so mayb they cld do it when im not hear.i like to think that il b in the clouds some day and i willl just b floating past them, i think thats how i want to think of it anyway.it sounds less scary that way! i find it really ard to let anybody leave at the moment coz i get scared it willl b the last time or i will die on my own, but thats a really nice thing about making sure u say something really nice before bed!!! :) my mummy always says 'nighty night shirts' before bed-i like that i think i will have a party if we can arrange it, i want to dress up nice and things, it wld b really fun.even if im tired i could still b around everyone and know they r there! that wld b the best bit. just hate making everyone sad, wld have to just make sure we had lots of happy music on!! :) hehhe and definatley a bit of jessie j. im sorry to hear ur ill alot. have u been ill for a long time, that anxierty disorder sounds really nasty, my sister had a panic attack once and that was bad enough. ur illness sounds horrible but im so glad uve come on here coz it means ive got to chat to u..which i think is sooo great! :) (coz ur great!) thanks again so much for writing back,its so lovely to hear from u and it does make me feel so much less lonely. it really really does! sending u a massive cuddle. lots of love xxx

    NINA; so sorry to hear about ur friend. how did u cope? did anything she say or do make things easier or harder for u? i just want to know whats best for my friends and family. u sound very brave and i hope ur ok. i do hope that i just fall asleep and i have my family there but its really scary to think about too. trying to stay positive. i hope ur ok, thanku for replying. lots of love and ur friend is in my prayers xxxx

    To all of u, sorry about my essay of a letter but i get so bored at nightime it just seemed like the best thing to do. thanku so much for replying, u truly have no idea how very grateful i am. so much love to all of u, stay nice and toasty! lots of love and hugs, K xxxx

     

     hi

    i'm really sorry i have no real helpful stuff to say other than stay positive!!! i can't believe that u r not crying much, i rarely ever cry and i read this and now i have tears streaming down my cheeks!!! ur family will always understand how much u love them and the will always remember the good things about u cause thats what familes do! i'm amazed by how well u r doing, i could never stay as positive as u r and i respect u so much! i never thought i would ever really talk to people who bad stuff happens to casue i am just a normal person and i always expected the person to cope really badly but the ther is u just living ur life getting on with what u have, i have never respected anyone that much in my life!

    Huge Giant hugs being sent your way! keep it up ur doing amamzingly! <3

    Sarah

    xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

  • Likeadream-nocontrol

    06 January 2012 at 22:47

     

     sound like a numpty :) thought all of us cud write to each other but you can only write to childline :) thatssss so good that you had a lovely time , and with your friend to :)... soooo jelous you got an iPad!! :) i really hope the pain stops :( but like you sed stay strong! cus your doin sooo great :) and you shud be sooo proud of yourself i no i couldnt be how great you are :) nd doodle jump on your ipad, i hav it on my ipod and its soo addictive :) hope your ok, i am passing a hug to you :)xxxx

  • Rainbowendings12

    22 January 2012 at 19:59

     

    Please let us know how u are? Are you still scared? Are u getting any better? I hope your ok.we are all thinking of you!!! X

  • Becxi

    22 January 2012 at 23:04

     

     Hello karlie!

    Just read through what your going through. Let me tell you by what you've been saying you,come across so so brave. More brave than i could ever be!

    I'm very jealous you met celebrities when they visited the hospital! That's amazing! 

     Hope your having a truly great year! Carry on staying strong! And don't stop being determind. 

     Becxi xxxx

  • Karlie07

    23 January 2012 at 14:27

     
    Hey everyone! 
    Sorry not been in contact sooner ...have been really poorly and got taken back into intensive care for a week.I'm better now but they have decided that I'm not going back into intensive care again.in some ways it's really good coz itu is really scary,but it basicly means next time I get that poorly then that's it.I'm back at home now and have a community nurse come in each day to change my pain relief syringe.I'm hooked up to this machine all the time and it makes having a bath or shower really difficult...but I'm not complaining coz other than making me feel sick it helps with the pain lots!! Other than that I've not been doing all that much.playing on my iPad lots!! And lots and lots of sleeping. You'd think if u know u only have a little time left in the world that ud want to b awake the whole time....(which I do!!) but I get soooooo tired it's ridiculous! So I guess that's kind of all my news.my sisters are still being amazing and keeping me laughing all of the time...they are mad! (charlie they say hey to you! And they've promised to write on here for me when I can't and also when I have gone! Just thought ud like to know!)
    I hope everyone else is doing ok! One of the nurses said this little rhymme to me the other day and thought I shld share it with u all...
    If you always do what uve always done, then you'll always get what u always got, so for a difference male a change and for a change make a difference!!! I really like it and it helps pick me up when things feel hopeless! 
    Sending you all so much love and hugs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Love Karlie x
  • Charlie7407

    23 January 2012 at 16:33

     
    Karlie07 - Today at 14:27

     

    Hey everyone! 
    Sorry not been in contact sooner ...have been really poorly and got taken back into intensive care for a week.I'm better now but they have decided that I'm not going back into intensive care again.in some ways it's really good coz itu is really scary,but it basicly means next time I get that poorly then that's it.I'm back at home now and have a community nurse come in each day to change my pain relief syringe.I'm hooked up to this machine all the time and it makes having a bath or shower really difficult...but I'm not complaining coz other than making me feel sick it helps with the pain lots!! Other than that I've not been doing all that much.playing on my iPad lots!! And lots and lots of sleeping. You'd think if u know u only have a little time left in the world that ud want to b awake the whole time....(which I do!!) but I get soooooo tired it's ridiculous! So I guess that's kind of all my news.my sisters are still being amazing and keeping me laughing all of the time...they are mad! (charlie they say hey to you! And they've promised to write on here for me when I can't and also when I have gone! Just thought ud like to know!)
    I hope everyone else is doing ok! One of the nurses said this little rhymme to me the other day and thought I shld share it with u all...
    If you always do what uve always done, then you'll always get what u always got, so for a difference male a change and for a change make a difference!!! I really like it and it helps pick me up when things feel hopeless! 
    Sending you all so much love and hugs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Love Karlie x

     

    Hello!!!

    Its so lovely to hear from you! :D *massive grins* ;) dont be sorry for replying late its fine. I'm sorry to hear you were taken back into intensive care again. It must be really scary, you do sound like an amazing brave person though and I really admire you for that :) Don't think about the next time keep thinking of the good things because they won't get you down.

    You keep playing on your Ipad! Have as much fun as you can yeah! Have you tried angry birds? I personally like playing the game where you toss paper into the bin lol. I understand what you mean by getting tired its not your fault and it gives you rest so you can have the time when you wake up as a great time! If you get me? :S

    Your sisters sound absolutly amazing, your really lucky to have such nice sisters :) I have a brother and by far we do fight like 24/7 haha like a sister and brother do, but tbh when it comes to a difficult time we do kind of forget stuff like that :P I say A big massive hello back! And tell them they're really brave too and really nice by the sounds of things :P Thanks for letting me know, its nice they'll do that for you, thanks!

    That rhyme is really nice :) I might steel it hehe. Its great it helps you! If you can why dont you make a board or something with it on in nice fancy writing and keep it with you just so you remember if you ever do feel low or hopeless.

    Keep fighting! Stay strong! And take care! Lots of love and hugs back your way, Charlie7407  xxx

  • Jessicaaax

    23 January 2012 at 20:15

     

    Hey Karlie!

    I know its difficult! As I used to have Leukemia! I'm okay now though, I know thats not so comforting but unfortunatley things happen. It's just like going into a deep slee. When I was at the hospital, they thought I died, but I didn't! I've been through it all. I know it's hard to think that you are simply dying from a cancer. But, life happens, but trust me it's not that bad. If you ever want to talk just say!!! How old are you? Anyway. best of look!

    Love you, God bless

    Jessicaaaaa xx

  • Lifedontlastforever

    23 January 2012 at 22:00

     

     Hello,Im sorry,that you have this condition no one deserves to have it,You just need to keep strong,Keep your head held high,And just remember you will have another life,after your first one.I can understand why your so scared,scared to close your eyes,Scared to say goodbye,But remember just keep strong,And remember all the good times 

    Best wishes hunni

    xxx

  • SilverMoonLight

    24 January 2012 at 07:44

     
    Karlie07 - 23 January 2012 at 14:27

     

    Hey everyone! 
    Sorry not been in contact sooner ...have been really poorly and got taken back into intensive care for a week.I'm better now but they have decided that I'm not going back into intensive care again.in some ways it's really good coz itu is really scary,but it basicly means next time I get that poorly then that's it.I'm back at home now and have a community nurse come in each day to change my pain relief syringe.I'm hooked up to this machine all the time and it makes having a bath or shower really difficult...but I'm not complaining coz other than making me feel sick it helps with the pain lots!! Other than that I've not been doing all that much.playing on my iPad lots!! And lots and lots of sleeping. You'd think if u know u only have a little time left in the world that ud want to b awake the whole time....(which I do!!) but I get soooooo tired it's ridiculous! So I guess that's kind of all my news.my sisters are still being amazing and keeping me laughing all of the time...they are mad! (charlie they say hey to you! And they've promised to write on here for me when I can't and also when I have gone! Just thought ud like to know!)
    I hope everyone else is doing ok! One of the nurses said this little rhymme to me the other day and thought I shld share it with u all...
    If you always do what uve always done, then you'll always get what u always got, so for a difference male a change and for a change make a difference!!! I really like it and it helps pick me up when things feel hopeless! 
    Sending you all so much love and hugs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Love Karlie x

     

     heyya sweeti its so good to hear from u again! 

    well, im glad to hear ur enjoying ut time, ur sisters sound tottaly fantastic :P sorry to hear the syrings is making u feel sick thought :/ *huge huggs!* 
    woo ipad! have u seen that app where u have to launch a cow into space? i think its called abducted or somthing like that, its so cool ;-) 
    ahhh ur nurse sounds real nice aswell! the rhyme is so sweet and true! ive written it in my little quote book thing ;-) 

    Sending all my love bk too u, hope ur doing well huni! and MassiveHuggs! Stay Strong Sweet heart <3 in my prayrs x
    TakeCare,
    Silver Xx

  • upsetpuppy001

    25 January 2012 at 20:47

     

    i am so sorry for you so sorry so so so so so so so so so so sorry for you

  • surrounded

    26 January 2012 at 21:46

     

    Aww Karlie, keep strong!!

    Heaven's gonna gain a lovely angel!!!! It's nice that you're having fun-your sisters sound lovely! It's okay to feel tired, though, and you are such a brave person!!

    That sounds like a really cool saying your nurse told you-it actually sort of helps me realise something...hope it helped you too!

    Love you, thisisthelife xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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