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Topic
 Coping methods?!

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  • Becky2248

    18 June 2012 at 16:36

    Coping methods?!

     

     

    My older brother passed away 2mounths ago. I miss him so much. He was disabled and had crybal palsy and epilepy. It was a sudden death though and he died suddenly though of hearth falure and respiritory failure. He had been fighting infections since january.

    I was coping quite well but now im begining to accept hes gone im not coping as well and was wondering if anyone has any coping tips that could help me. Perticually for when im in school and more specificly lessons.
  • Calmbutcautious

    19 June 2012 at 21:48

     

    Well, my nana died 2 weeks ago. My method is to write all my different emotions out on paper. Then counteract it with a good memory. so, if it was sad, I'd remember a happy memory of me and my nana. Alone, a memory us together. 

    My nana didnt know who i was, but i still  think she knew me occasionally, and would take all her happy memories to heaven.And Im sure that your brother will have all his fondest memories of you in his heart and mind. So what you should do is hang up all the happy moments for you to look back on when your sad, because even if it hurts at first, you'll keep those joyful memories with you always.

     

    Move on, but never forget. Moving on means accepting, so you never have to forget. The pain will go away, and even if it hasnt for me yet, I have to hope it will. Ever need to talk, everybodies here for you, and I'll keep checking back to ensure your ok  xxx

     

    Lots of love in your time of grieving,

    Calmbutcautious xx

     
  • TinCanGirl

    20 June 2012 at 11:44

     

    Hiya,

    Sorry about your brother. Unfortunatly there is no easy way to cope, especially with a sudden death. You sound like you've been so strong. Are you able to talk about your brother to your family? That helped me. At first i was scared I'd upset my mum, but it helped her to talk about my Dad as well. In classes I sometimes find it hard, is there a mentor at your school? Or somewhere you can go if you feel unable to sit through a lesson? For me, i find it easier to cope alone as I'm quite a private person. Try and go out with friends. Write a list of things you liked about your brother, things you did that you enjoyed. Try and smile when you look at pictures of him instead of cry. I hope I helped a little.

    Take care,

    Em xx
  • Becky2248

    20 June 2012 at 19:22

     

    Thank you both, i will try writing things down next time im upset. There are mentors at school and i can leave lessons if there to much for me but i dont like leaving lessons because it means i have to catch up and im already struggling to keep up with homework.

    thank you for both your kind ideas and words

    becky xx
  • bubblz1999

    10 August 2012 at 01:07

     
    Becky2248 - 20 June 2012 at 19:22

     

    Thank you both, i will try writing things down next time im upset. There are mentors at school and i can leave lessons if there to much for me but i dont like leaving lessons because it means i have to catch up and im already struggling to keep up with homework.

    thank you for both your kind ideas and words

    becky xx

     

    How about asking your teacher for the work when you feel the need to leave the lesson, this way you can do the work in the area where you are not in the classroom.. However, in lessons where you dont want to leave the classroom, you could (if sometimes allowed) ask your teacher if you able to put one earphone of music in when doing your work, or get a note from your school mentor if she thinks it would help to allow you to listen to music through an MP3... You mentioned that you are struggling with homework lately Maybe you could explain this to your school mentoor and she may have some advice on what to do, or maybe let you cut off some of the less important homework...

    Do you have a school nurse? if so then maybe you could speak to her about your emotions and if things get really hard for you she may even refer you to CAMHS where they have the time and support for you.. xx

    Good luck with everything and the future

    Chantelle x

     
  • eryie

    10 August 2012 at 11:54

     

    i'm so sorry for your loss
  • KermitTheFrog99

    10 August 2012 at 16:53

     
    Becky2248 - 18 June 2012 at 16:36

     

     

    My older brother passed away 2mounths ago. I miss him so much. He was disabled and had crybal palsy and epilepy. It was a sudden death though and he died suddenly though of hearth falure and respiritory failure. He had been fighting infections since january.

    I was coping quite well but now im begining to accept hes gone im not coping as well and was wondering if anyone has any coping tips that could help me. Perticually for when im in school and more specificly lessons.

     

    My dad passed away 4 years ago but I still remember it like it was yesterday. Do your teachers know at school? What about your friends? If not you will probably feel better if your friends now and understand how you are feeling. You said you were coping well to begin with. 

    What has changed so now you feel you are not coping as well? It is really sad to know that he had been fighting infections since January but did not make it. I don't really know what to say to you though. I know I didn't want people to make a big fuss of me. 

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