Hi there
Thank you for writing in to tell me what is on your mind.
It sounds like you are starting to think about the way you look and being fashionable. You have started to notice what other girls wear and you think they look good. This has made you consider trying new clothes for yourself.
You mention that to be considered, ‘popular’ you must look sexy and older than you really are, even if this means wearing clothes that you feel may be inappropriate for your age group. If anything feels inappropriate or uncomfortable to you it is really important that you pay attention to your feelings and respect yourself. You don’t have to wear anything you are not comfortable with wearing.
It seems that your friends may be noticing and talking about the clothes you wear and perhaps you are starting to feel a little bit self-conscious. Because of this, you may be feeling a little bit pressured by your friends to change your style and to adopt a different style.
You have asked how you can be popular, good at school and reasonably attractive. It sounds like these things are becoming more important to you as you get older and it is perfectly normal for you to be asking this question. There is a lot of pressure around young people to look a certain way, but it is really important that you feel comfortable with yourself and what you wear, regardless of what other people think. Have a look at this message board What's your favourite part of you? to see what other young people are saying.
Having said that, it can be a lot of fun to experiment with new clothes with your friends and if you feel ready to, maybe you could suggest getting together with them to do this. However the most important thing is that you feel comfortable with what you are wearing.
If you would like to talk about this more, you can call ChildLine on 0800 1111 to talk, or you can sign up to the website and chat to a counsellor online.
I hope this helps
Take care
Sam