Thank you for writing to me. You have described how you have been finding it very hard to eat at the moment. From the sounds of it this is affecting you in lots of ways and I can hear that it is distressing being made to eat when you feel like you don’t want to. At the same time, it seems like you are aware of the problems that not eating properly can cause. You've mentioned not being able to think straight, dozing off all the time and slurring your speech.
It sounds like it might have been upsetting for you when your mum screamed at you and I get the sense that you are feeling under pressure from those around you. It sounds like your mum and friends care about you and are trying to help even if it feels very frustrating for you right now. I don’t know what your relationship with your mum is like but often people scream and shout when they are feeling shocked or worried. I’m wondering what you think it might be like for you to talk to your mum about how you’re feeling. Maybe it would be good to pick a time when you and your mum are in a relaxed setting and have the chance to talk calmly to help her to understand what’s going on for you.
I think it might also be useful for you to try to work out what is making you find eating so difficult at the moment. It could be helpful to go to a doctor as they should be able to tell you whether it’s something physical and what might help you to feel better about eating so that you can look after yourself and be healthy. From what you have said it seems like it is something you have only noticed recently so I’m wondering what your relationship with food and eating was like before. It might also be useful for you to think about what might have changed around the time you began to find eating hard.
The Eating problems page in Explore has lots of useful information. You might also like to look at the ChildLine message boards to get support from other young people and read about their experiences.
If you want to talk more about this then you are very welcome to contact a ChildLine counsellor by phone on 0800 1111 or by logging on for a 1-2-1 chat.