Hi
It sounds like you’re very concerned about your friend and even though you’re doing everything that you can to support her you feel like nothing is working. It doesn’t sound selfish to say that you’re sick of what’s happening, this is a lot to cope with on your own and your feelings are very important too.
I imagine that it’s very difficult to try to stay positive when you feel like you’re in a constant cycle with her. I wonder if there is anyone that you feel you can trust to talk about your feelings and how what is happening with your friend is impacting on you.
You think that you should be able to know how to make her feel better because you’re her best friend, and you would do anything to take away these feelings from her. I imagine that it’s a great comfort to your friend to hear that you’re there for her, but she is ultimately responsible for the decisions that she makes for herself.
It sounds like things have become more overwhelming for your friend over the past few days and you described what happened the other day, when you felt all you could do was watch. You said that she was diagnosed with depression a few years ago, and I wonder if she still has any ongoing support to help manage these difficult feelings.
You ask what you can both do and I wonder how it would be if you talked to one the ChildLine counsellors directly? You can phone 0800 1111, or sign up to have a 1-2-1 chat (like MSN). Either way you would be able to explore how things are for you and your friend and begin to think of ways that you can support yourselves.
I hope we hear from you again when you’re ready.
Take care
Sam