Hi there
Thank you for sending your letter to me. It sounds as though the way that you feel and think about your body is changing. You said that you’re trying to reach perfection; I wonder what that means for you? Some people are happy with how they look and others aren’t. It’s normal that the way we see ourselves changes during puberty, as we go through physical and emotional changes.
It’s good that you recognise that there may be a problem and you think that you may need help.
You’re restricting your calorie intake to 200 each day and have started to collapse recently and go unconscious. I'm not medically trained, but I’m concerned that you may be beginning to damage your body. I wonder if you have thought about speaking to your doctor or school nurse? You would be able to ask them how they can begin to help you reach a balance of a healthy diet and exercise plan in a safe way.
It sounds as though there are a lot of people around you that care about you but you still don’t think that they will understand fully how things are for you. ChildLine counsellors are here to talk about things that other people may find difficult or don’t understand.
You asked what you should do and I wonder how it would be if you talked to one of the counsellors directly? You can sign up on this website to have a 1-2-1 chat (similar to MSN) or ring 0800 1111. The counsellors understand the sorts of problems you might be worried about and are trained to help. They won’t judge you or put you down and they are not easily shocked. Instead, they will listen and help talk you through your options and think of ways that you can support yourself.
It’s a big step to contact ChildLine, and I hope that when you are ready you get in touch again soon.
Take care
Sam