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Ask Sam

Topic I am pregnant 

Question

To Sam 

31/05/2011 8:13pm 

I am pregnant 

hi sam,

i was raped about a month ago and i didnt tell any one until 2 weeks ago, i told my sister. she took me to checked for any disease but instead i found out i was pregnant. i really dont know what to do because im only 11 and only me and my sister knows. my mum would probably make me put the baby up for adoption but me and my sister was adopted and did not know who our real parent were and i really dont want my baby to go through that pain. My sister told me she would tell my mum for me but im really scared!!!

Sam's answer

Sam 

01/06/2011 2:33pm 

Hello

I’m very sorry to hear that you were raped – you did the right thing to talk with your sister, even if it was really scary. You deserve some support and it sounds like your sister has really tried to help you. It’s important to remember that you can’t really keep a pregnancy secret for very long and that your mum might not react the way you fear. She is there for you and she should care for how you feel and what your wishes are. The best way to be able to talk about the future is to be honest about what is happening now and give your mum the chance to be there for you too. This is a tough situation and you don’t have to deal with this all on your own.

It can be scary talking about this, but perhaps your mum would just want to be there for you and help you figure out what is going to be best in the future. Maybe you and your sister can talk to her together and tell her about how you are feeling about being adopted and that this is a worry for you. Your feelings are important and your mum should listen to you.

I would also be worried that you might still be at risk from the person who raped you? Do you know them or was it a stranger? Talking to your mum can help you get the support you might need to keep you safe. Remember, it is not your fault and you don't need to go through this on your own. You deserve help and support and it’s okay to talk to your mum about how you are feeling – what you feel is important.

Take care

Sam

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