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Ask Sam

Topic Trouble with school and family. 

Question

To Sam 

11/11/11 10.47pm 

Trouble with school and family. 

I have been feeling worried about going to school because there is this person who has been saying things about me and my friends behind our backs, we have tried reasoning with her but it does not help. vie been loosing all my friends because of this I just been worried about going to school, I don't want to go and then nobody likes me because that's how I am feeling now. I am 13 and I am really small in height I get judged about it and I have been feeling it hard to trust anyone. I have been feeling this way because I have had a hard upbringing because my dad tried killing himself twice and so has my sister. I have 4 brothers and 1 sister, 1 of my brothers have been in trouble with the police and school so has my sister I just really don't want to turn out like them and people have started to think I am like that but I really aint :'(. please help me.
Sam's answer

Sam 

25/11/11 2.39pm 

Hello there

Thank you for your letter. It looks like things are quite tough for you at the moment and you aren’t getting any support from people that you should be able to confide in and trust.

This girl who is saying things behind your back is causing problems for you and your friends and makes you feel like you don’t want to go to school. People are saying things about your height, please know they have no right to say these things about you.  I’m wondering if your friends are aware of how you feel at the moment and what it would be like if you did tell them.

I am concerned that you have no support with what’s happening at the moment, especially because of what is happening at home with your family. People are judging you because of what’s been going on in your family, which seems to be another thing you have to deal with.  I want you to know that it isn’t fair for them to be treating you this way and they have no right to judge you. At 13 you should be able to feel you can turn to family for support when things get difficult. 

Well done for getting in touch and seeking support, I can see that you really want to get through this. ChildLine are here to support you whenever you need to talk and you can get in contact anytime. You can talk to a ChildLine Counsellor who is there to listen to what you tell them and help you to think about safe options. You can do this by phoning 0800 1111 or by signing up for an account and having an online chat. A counsellor is not going to judge you and will listen to what you have to say.

You said you have four brothers, I’m wondering if you can talk to one of them about how things are for you. It is important to talk about how you feel about what is happening for you, and get some regular support from someone. It’s ok if you are unsure about what to say or where to start, talking to a ChildLine counsellor will allow you to explore your options. They can help you to make a plan of what to say and how you could communicate how you feel.

You may also find it useful to check out the ChildLine message boards, here you can talk to other young people about how things are for you. This is a place where you can share experiences and find out what other people think.

Take care,

Sam

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