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Topic My school life getting overpowered by my stressful family life! 

Question

To Sam 

1/8/11 6.27pm 

My school life getting overpowered by my stressful family life! 

Hi Sam,

My name is Rachael I am 13 years old. I am going into year 9 in september. My parents have been seperate for about 4 years and divorced for 1 1/2 of those years. It has been really stressful for me becasue my mum works and my dad doesn't. So me and my brother have to live with him. But the thing is I think that he doesn't understand how to take care of me even though he thinks he does just because he grew up with 2 sisters. And that puts a lot of stress on me and it is starting to control my mind of everything at school. Also me and my brother only get to see our mum for 3 days every fortnight and it really upsets me. And I'm so confused and stressed about everything!  PLEASE HELP ME!!!

Sam's answer

Sam 

11/8/11 10.23am 

Hi there

Thanks for your letter.  It sounds like there is a lot going on and things are getting on top of you at the moment. I’m not really sure what you mean when you say that your dad doesn’t know how to take care of you, and I hope that you and your brother are safe. No one has the right to make you feel unhappy or stressed, especially someone who is supposed to be taking care of you. If your dad isn’t giving you enough to eat and drink, or you are often left alone or in charge of another child (without an adult) for a long time, then it is especially important that you get some support.

It can be really hard when parents split up and get divorced, and sometimes they can be so worried about how their own lives are changing that they can forget that you are upset or worried too.  It is important that you remember that what has happened is not your fault, and that even though your mum and dad are not together, they both have a responsibility to make sure you are OK.  It sounds like you would like to see more of your mum, maybe you could think about telling her how you are feeling?

You also said that you are feeling stressed about school, and you are moving up into year 9 soon. Moving up into a new year is a big change and it can be stressful, especially when there are other things going on for you.  School is a really big part of your life, so it is important that you feel happy there.  There is a message board about school, maybe you could have a look at some of the things other young people have suggested?

You could also talk this all through with a counsellor at ChildLine. Someone is available anytime you need to talk – either on the phone or online, and I am sure they would be happy to support you.

Take care

Sam

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