Hello there,
Thank you for your letter. I think you have been really brave to write to me at ChildLine and want you to know that we are here to support you. We will help you to find a way through the difficult time you say you are having at school during your GCSE year..
You mention in your letter that you are depressed and have been for just under two years now and that you have been having counselling at school. From what you have said, it seems that the counselling helps you, but only for a day or so afterwards and then you get back to that feeling like you are drowning.
You say that you have found it difficult when teachers asked you questions. You also say that since your breakdown last year, when your dad phoned your school to get you some support, you mention that all of that seems to have been forgotten in this new school year and you don’t want your dad to do that again.
I am concerned about how you are feeling right now and that you feel that if you don’t find a way through this, that you feel there is no other option than to kill yourself. You are important to us and there are always other options, it's just that sometimes it seems so difficult to see what they could be when you feel that low.
I think it could be helpful for you to talk to a ChildLine counsellor and get some support on the days in-between your school counselling sessions (although we are also here for you to talk to us at anytime). There are various ways that you can do this: you can phone us on 0800 1111 (which is free from phones including mobiles), or sign up for an account and use the 1-21- online chat (like MSN) or send a private email from your Locker (emails can take a few days to get a response).
Take care,
Sam