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Topic I can't manage... 

Question

To Sam 

12/9/11 8.54pm 

I can't manage... 

I'm a 14 year old girl who has just started year 10 at school, and after just 4 days, I'm finding it hard to cope. The first day back was fine, it was only sorting out our new timetable and getting introductary lessons from new teachers. The next day, things got harder. All of my friends weren't in any of my classes, so I was constantly alone with people that see me as a joke. And then there was the homework. For 2 pieces of it, it's a lot to do in under a week, and I'm finding myself falling behind with it all as I just keep getting more.

The truth is, I thought my parents would be more supportive, as I've now started my GCSE's, but they haven't. Ever since I got my laptop, I've had a two hour time limit to do anything, including homework. Personally, I don't like it as I can't do anything I like for fun. Now that I have so much homework, I thought they would remove the limit so I could do it all, but that isn't the case. It's still there.

At the end of today, I had 8 pieces of homework to complete by days this week. And during my time limit, I only manage to complete 3 of them. I need more time. I find myself rushing, so that I can move on to other pieces, but that's just no good. I've tried everything to make my parents understand how important homework is now, as it counts as coursework for my GCSE's (25% of it) and I can't do so much in so little time.

I just don't know what to do. I can't sleep well at night and get headaches because of the stress I'm under now. It's even worrying my friends, as they don't get as much as I do. I seem more stressed out every day, and find it really hard to just step away from the books and papers to relax for a few minutes.

I just wish my parents would be a little understanding, but they're just being so strict on me for no reason. I can't manage both homework and home rules, because they're just closing in on me. :S

Sam's answer

Sam 

22/9/11 9.48am 

Hi there

I am really pleased you felt able to write this down and share it with me. I can tell that things are feeling hard to cope with at school right now. It can take time to settle in when you have just started a new year and it can feel like the work is a lot tougher. I can tell you are doing your best to cope with the new change.

You say that you are falling behind, and that can feel quite scary and like things are getting out of your control. How would it be to talk to a teacher about this and explain how difficult it feels to have everything in on time? Maybe they could offer you some study support or help you devise a study plan.

It also sounds like it might feel unfair when others don’t have the same amount of work as you. What would it be like to ask the teacher about the reason for that?

Being separated from your close friends can also be unsettling. It sounds like you feel some of the new people don’t take you seriously, but I suppose they don’t really know you yet and it’s important for you to just be yourself, so that they can get to know you properly.

The limit your mum and dad has allowed you on the laptop does sound unreasonable if you need to use it for your studies and you have no other option. It sounds like you have tried hard to make them understand and feel like they are not really listening.  Sometimes it can be helpful to write a letter to explain the way things are, explaining how all this is all making you feel. You could then maybe show them this letter.

Although study time is important, time for yourself and time to relax is equally important. If you could organise a study plan, what would it be like to try to pencil in an amount of time for yourself too, so that you know that you will at least have some time just for you?

If all this is feeling too much to cope with, why not contact ChildLine and speak to one of our counsellors. They will do their best to support you by listening and helping you to explore your feelings.

You can speak to a counsellor by ringing for free on 0800 1111, or you could have a 1-2-1 chat online with a counsellor. You will also find some really good information on Homework in the Explore Section and it might help to have a look at this.

Take Care

Sam

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