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Topic GCSE options! :( 

Question

To Sam 

2/12/11 9.01pm 

GCSE options! :( 

im not really sure what to say. im really stressed out right now, see im picking my GCSE's this year and my pairents are constantly on my back telling me to work hard and stuff and i cant take it, ive had a difficult time lately due to the fact that my boyfriend beat me up and ive been self harming for a long time, i think if i wasnt for self harm i probaly wouldnt be here, because i was the one thing that calmed me down, i have thought of taking my life a few times and i came very close to doing it.

ive always struggled with school and its hard for me because i dont like being around people much anymore, i dont no why but i feel unconfortable and unsafe and out of place around them and it makes it difficult for me to consenrate, that has ment that all my grades have droped and now im behind in english maths science and a few other subjects and i might get held back if the dont improve by the end of the school year.

i dont really no how to make the right choises and i think im going to make the rong ones ,like choises that are going to ruin mylife. i no where i want to be when im older but i dont feel like i will ever get there. its like this constant strain and when we talk about our futers i start to panic and think like i dont think i will have one, please tell me what i should do because im really paiking and i dont not what to do anymore , sorry its so long, tho you probably wont answer but thanks for listening to me!
xx siana :) xxx

Sam's answer

Sam 

15/12/11 3.12pm 

Hi there and thank you for your letter. 

I think you have been really brave to write me about the difficult time you've had lately and the pressure you're feeling from your parents to do well at school.

You have told me that you also had been beaten up by your boyfriend, this is physically abusive behaviour that you do not deserve and no-one has the right to treat you that way.

You say you feel that if it wasn’t for your self harming as a way to cope with your difficulties and a way to calm you down, that you might not be here today. I think that you have done so well to find a way of coping that is working for you right now. ChildLine can support you to make sure that you keep yourself as safe as possible when self harming and identify other options you might have as coping strategies when you feel ready. If you feel ready you could talk to a counsellor at ChildLine about how you are feeling, and together you could look at other options that you have; options to feel more in control of how your life is now.

You can contact a counsellor at ChildLine by calling on 0800 1111 (which is free from most phones including mobiles) or through the website on 1-2-1 online chat (like MSN), it might give you a chance to get more immediate support for your feelings about all that is happening with you right now.

By what you have told me, it sounds as if you have much concern about making the right choices and are fearful of making the wrong choices that will affect your future.  It might be helpful for you to know that whatever choice you make about your education at this time is ok, and there may be opportunities later to change that choice if it becomes clear it is not suitable for you. ChildLine is here to support you and understand that at this time in your life, it can often make us feel panicky about what to do next.

Again, I think you have shown great courage to write to me.

Take care,

Sam

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