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Topic Confused 

Question

To Sam 

18/01/2012 19:54 

Confused 

My friend and i are always argueing and then later on in the day become friends again and i can't handle it. I am only in Yeaar 7 all of this is just horrible. I don't feel i have an identity in the class my teacher barely knows me and always ignores me. My friend is an important person is always quite bossy and it gets on my nerves this makes me come accross as grumpy angry. People also say hey look shes grumpy again , hey shes sad in a jokey irritated way i feel no one understands.
Sam's answer

Sam 

18/01/2012 19:56 

Hi there,

Thanks for my message at what sounds like an upsetting and confusing time for you.

You mention that you and your friend are constantly arguing which leads to you falling out and then becoming friends again and this sounds quite frustrating to have to keep going through this. In all friendships there will be times when you fall out and sometimes drift apart, where people who you once were close with are suddenly not there and I know that this can be upsetting for those involved.

It sounds as though you want this cycle of falling out and making up to stop. What would it be like for you to tell your friend how it is for you when you fight and she is bossy to you and how you would like things to be? Sometimes it can be helpful to think about what are the arguments about, if they are normally about certain things, perhaps you and your friend can work together to see if these triggers to arguments can be avoided. You may also find it helpful to read our page on Friendships.

You said you feel you have no identity in your class and it’s quite normal for people in schools, especially those who have just joined into the school to feel like this. It is a big change in moving schools and can be quite hard to adjust to, but it can get better. An option that is available to you is to speak to a teacher you trust about how you are finding school so that they can support you with these feelings, you may also want to think about any clubs or groups you can join to do something you like, which can also help you to meet new people, build your confidence and your own identity.

I am really glad that you’ve been able to send me this message as I want you to know that ChildLine is here to support you.

You may want to visit the ChildLine message boards, this is where you can read what young people say about lots of topics including, friendships and school issues, to get support from others who may be in similar situations to you, you can also add your own thoughts or start a new thread if you want to.

Take care,

Sam

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