Hi there
Reading your letter it sounds like you were feeling really nervous about these exams. When we are nervous we can experience many different emotions and feelings that may make us do things that we would not normally do.
It sounds as though that feeling scared and finding the exam hard encouraged you to use a calculator in the other exam.
Have you thought about talking to the class teacher about what happened and letting them know you are now feeling really bad?
Teachers are trained to support all students and will really appreciate your honesty. If your teachers are aware of how you are feeling in exams they should be able to offer you some extra support.
This should be before and during the exams so that you are prepared and confident.
If you want to talk this through with a counsellor please phone ChildLine on 0800 111 or come and have a 1-2-1 online chat.
You may find it useful to have a look at our exam stress information on the web site.
Bye for now
Sam