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Topic HELP!!! :(( 

Question

To Sam 

09/03/2011 10:33pm 

HELP!!! :(( 

I am in Year 10, and I am 15. I have my GSCE's in a few months, and I am getting so stressed and worried that I'm going to do awful on them. My teachers want me to get 9 GSCE's, and I just can't do it. I work from when I get home from school, so roughly about 4:00pm until around 4:00 in the morning on all the different subjects. But I can't do it properly because I'm getting constant texts from these stupid kids calling me stuff. Plus, my Mum  was diagnosed with clinical depression 3 years ago and I have to keep an ear out for her as well as she's always shaking so may hurt herself.

There's also the BIG worry of the kids at school. I have been bullied for four school years on the trot. These kids don't just call me names and taunt me, they physically hurt me as well, kicking and punching me. They ripped up all my English coursework, 19 pages on Hamlet the other day. So I had to do it all again which took absolutley ages. I am very small, so easily intimidated physically. They take all of my money so I can't do as much of the shopping as I would have liked, or get Mum anything like chocolate to calm her down. They have no idea of the way that they make me feel, I just don't know what to do anymore. They said if I tell anyone they'll kill me, and I'm just so scared. Please advise.

Sam's answer

Sam 

15/03/2011 8:12am 

Hi there 

Thanks very much for your letter. I’m glad you’ve let me know how you’re feeling. It seems like you’re trying your best to cope with a lot of tough things that are happening in your life right now. 

You said that you’re stressed about your GCSEs and that you’re staying up until 4:00am each morning to try to do the best work you can. But it sounds like you feel that no matter how hard you work, you’re finding it difficult to achieve what your teachers are expecting from you. That’s because you’re also coping with caring for your mum and you have to deal with all the difficult texts you’re getting from other kids too, and you’re being bullied at school. 

From what you’ve said, you’re being physically and mentally hurt by these bullies at all times of the day. I want to let you know that what’s happening to you is wrong. You shouldn’t have to put up with getting hurt, threatened and stolen from. It sounds like you’re really scared by what’s happening, and the bullies said they’ll kill you if you tell anyone. You have been bullied for a long time, but now you don’t know how to cope with it anymore. You don’t have to cope on your own; I’m wondering what you think about getting in touch with ChildLine so that you could talk everything through with a counsellor. Have a look at how ChildLine keeps what you tell them confidential.

You might also find it useful to have a look at the Kidscape website - it gives lots of information and support for teenagers who are being bullied.  Also, the Think U Know website - has some great advice about what to do if you are being harrassed through text messages.

You’ve told me a bit about what it’s like for you to care for your mum who is depressed, and it seems as though you spend a lot of time making sure she’s okay (keeping an ear out for her through the night and doing shopping too). I’m wondering, who makes sure that you’re okay? There is a really good website that you could have a look at - www.youngcarers.net -  it gives some useful information for young people who are caring for someone in their family who is ill.

It sounds like you’re trying your hardest to do the best you can in your exams, but you’re not reaching that goal because of everything else that is going on. It seems like your school work might get easier to do if you could get some support to make the bullying stop and some help with caring for your mum. Your happiness and education is important. 

Maybe you could think about talking to an adult who you trust (like a family member or a teacher) about how things are at home with your mum. You could talk to ChildLine about how things are at home too. They would be happy to talk to you about whatever is important to you. You could phone for free on 0800 1111, sign up for an account and have a 1-2-1 chat, or send an email. They’d be glad to hear from you. 

Take care

Sam

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