Hi there
Thank you for your message. It sounds like there are a number of things that are making you feel like you can’t cope and that you are really struggling to feel prepared for your exams.
It sounds like you have done a lot of revision for your exams but stress is stopping you from feeling prepared and getting a good night’s sleep. Perhaps you could think of some ways that would help you to switch off and unwind when you get into bed. Some people find that having a good break, like watching some TV or reading a book, between bed time and your last revision session can help you to switch off. If you find that you are thinking and worrying about things when you get into bed you might find it helps to talk to someone about it. ChildLine counsellors are there for you to express and talk through your worries confidentially, and they could talk you through some ways to relax as well.
I can hear that you worry about both your mum and dad and that you feel this is distracting you from your revision. It sounds like you feel you need to support your mum and you are really brave to try to help her even though you feel that anything you do doesn’t help. It is natural to want to help your parents but it sounds like your mum might need to get some help for herself. It is not your fault that your mum feels the way she does and neither is it your responsibility to make her feel better. It can be confusing when parents act in ways that you don’t expect and you may find talking it through helps. You can do this with ChildLine. You might also find it helpful to look at this page of The Site which talks about living with a parent with suicidal thoughts.
I can hear that you are feeling really depressed and are self harming several times a day to cope with your feelings. You say that you have also thought of suicide as well. I am really concerned about you feeling like this and it sounds like it would be a good idea to talk through these feelings with a ChildLine counsellor. ChildLine counsellors won’t judge you but, instead, will listen and support you.
I hope that you have found this information useful. Thank you again for writing to me.
Take care
Sam