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Ask Sam

Topic A levels  

Question

To Sam 

18/05/2011 12:58pm 

A levels  

to sam

heyya im currently sitting my AS levels at school and im really stressed out an i dont know how to handle it. i had my first exam last monday but i couldnt sleep the night before so i went into the exam running on 2 hours sleep an alot of redbull so i dont think it went too well, i still have several exams left an althought i have done alot of revision i dont feel prepared at all.

also i really want to concentrate on revision at the moment but my dad wants me to go out with him (cos i dont see him often) but if i say no cos i hav an exam or i have to revise he starts being really horrible to me an my mum. even though she doesnt mean to, she gets in the way of revision alot. her and my stepdad had a huge argument an she threatend to hang herself cos she doesnt see the point in living anymore. i try to help her as much as possible but it doent seem to help.

i really dont know how to cope with it all anymore an the only thing getting me throught the day is self harm and im self harming several times daily at the minuit quite badly. lately i have felt really depressed an have had several thoughts of suicide. i cant talk to anyone about it cos i dont want to make my mum any worse than she is and if i was to talk to family they would go to her about it, and me and my dad or stepdad dont get along.

thanks for reading this an sorry its so long i just really dont know what to do anymore an everything is getting really hard to cope with.

Sam's answer

Sam 

20/05/2011 4:34pm 

Hi there

Thank you for your message.  It sounds like there are a number of things that are making you feel like you can’t cope and that you are really struggling to feel prepared for your exams. 

It sounds like you have done a lot of revision for your exams but stress is stopping you from feeling prepared and getting a good night’s sleep.  Perhaps you could think of some ways that would help you to switch off and unwind when you get into bed.  Some people find that having a good break, like watching some TV or reading a book, between bed time and your last revision session can help you to switch off.  If you find that you are thinking and worrying about things when you get into bed you might find it helps to talk to someone about it.  ChildLine counsellors are there for you to express and talk through your worries confidentially, and they could talk you through some ways to relax as well. 

I can hear that you worry about both your mum and dad and that you feel this is distracting you from your revision.  It sounds like you feel you need to support your mum and you are really brave to try to help her even though you feel that anything you do doesn’t help.  It is natural to want to help your parents but it sounds like your mum might need to get some help for herself.  It is not your fault that your mum feels the way she does and neither is it your responsibility to make her feel better.  It can be confusing when parents act in ways that you don’t expect and you may find talking it through helps.  You can do this with ChildLine.  You might also find it helpful to look at this page of The Site which talks about living with a parent with suicidal thoughts.

I can hear that you are feeling really depressed and are self harming several times a day to cope with your feelings.  You say that you have also thought of suicide as well.  I am really concerned about you feeling like this and it sounds like it would be a good idea to talk through these feelings with a ChildLine counsellor.  ChildLine counsellors won’t judge you but, instead, will listen and support you.

I hope that you have found this information useful.  Thank you again for writing to me.

Take care

Sam

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