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Topic my sister really hurts me. 

Question

To Sam 

26/12/2011 3:23pm 

my sister really hurts me. 

I have a younger sisters she's 4 years younger than me and hits me a lot. She is very violent and my mum is also scared of her even when no-one provokes her she'll still hit me. I can't make a fuss when she hits me I just have to take the pain as it will make her even more angry. She pulls my hair, throws objects at me and even pushes me against something hard. Please help me find ways to help her stop!
Sam's answer

Sam 

26/12/2011 4:33pm 

Hi there, thanks for your message.

I am really glad that you have been able to write to me as it sounds very difficult for you at home and we want you to know that you don’t have to cope with how things are on your own. No one has the right to hit somebody else, what your sister is doing is wrong and not your fault. If ever you feel in danger you can call 999 who are there to make sure you are safe.

You mentioned that your mum is scared of your sister. What is important is that mum is aware that she can get support with how things are at home with your sister. Some medical conditions may lead to people being violent or having meltdowns, and if your sister has an undiagnosed medical condition, being diagnosed can help the family to get the support you deserve. Even if there is no medical condition, social services can also offer assistance and support to the family, to help home life be happier and safer for everyone. Perhaps this is something you could speak to your mum about so that she can contact them directly. You can also contact them by speaking to a teacher at school who could make a referral to social services.

The National Youth Advocacy Service (NYAS) is an organisation to support young people achieve their rights, such as the right for every child and young person to not be abused, which you might find helpful.

Sometimes it can be helpful to keep a diary of when this happens, to see if there are any patterns or specific times when she becomes violent. If trends or patterns are identified, this knowledge can be used to think of what else is happening at this time which may be adding to her becoming violent, to see if any triggers can be removed or reduced. Recognising any patterns can also help you to think about what you can do to keep yourself safe.

If you want to speak to us about this in more detail we are here 24 hours a day, 7 days a week and you can do this by contacting ChildLine on 0800 1111, through 1-2-1 chat online or by sending an email.

Take care.

Sam

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