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Topic Leaving home 

Question

To Sam 

18/01/2011 6:57pm 

Leaving home 

I'm 16 years old, female and attending a local sixth form.

Ever since I was 13, me and my mum have never gotten on.She pinned me against a wall once by my neck because I answered her back for the first time. Since that happened there's been a rift between us and its gradually became worse. I have a loving boyfriend who's seen what she can do and how she is. On a night she'll drink a bottle or more of wine to herself and is usually drunk. She keeps telling me to leave home, so I look into places to do this and she then calls up where i could go and tells them Im a drug addict! I've never touched drugs in my life. Every time I come home from college she puts me down. I get told Im either fat, its all my fault, I can't do anything right or Im a liar who will get no where in life. Im at the point right now of just wanting to quit college to go into full time work to get the money together to get away from this house. Even when she is obviously wrong, Im the person who has to say sorry and walk on egg shells around her. So far she's thrown my brand new computer down the stairs which I paid fro myself, broken the keyboard on the second computer I bought myself, threatened to ruin my life, tried to tell my boyfriends parents I had been sleeping around to make them cut off contact from me, tried to throw me out of the house and constantly puts me down.

Everything Im doing is wrong and I don't know what to do, please can you help?

Sam's answer

Sam 

22/01/2011 9:07am 

Hi, and thank you for writing to me.

From what you’ve written it looks like your relationship with your mum is almost at breaking point and you need help to sort out what you want to do next. You said everything you do is wrong, but from what you’ve told me it’s your mum who’s being the problem, not you.

All the things that your mum has done, like lying about you and putting you down are wrong, and I wonder if she’s always been like that, or whether her drinking has something to do with it? In any case it shouldn’t be happening to you. I’m quite worried about what’s been happening, and although I’m glad that your boyfriend is loving and supportive, it seems that you may need more support too. It’s quite difficult for me to say what you should do about this without talking it over with you, but if you’re looking for advice and support, the people at ChildLine will be able to help you. I wonder how you’d feel about ringing them on 0800 1111? The lines there are open all the time and calls are free. You can also sign up for a ChildLine account and chat to a ChildLine counsellor online.

There will be practical things you can do about your situation, but I don’t want to go into them in a letter - it will be much easier if you discuss things with a ChildLine counsellor.

Good luck and take care.

Sam

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