Hi James
It sounds like this latest incident with the police has really worried you about the future and it’s brilliant that you are talking about this. It’s important to remember that an Anti-Social Behaviour Order (ASBO) is not something that is given lightly and would be part of other criminal proceedings.
It sounds like you understand the reason why the police took your name the first two times. However, the fact that they took it, after the incident involving your friend running in front of a car, is making you feel really unfairly treated.
If the police were looking to take things further with you, it’s really important that you know that you would be involved in this. You should be told exactly what’s happening from the moment they took your name as well as being given a chance to give your side of the story. I can imagine it being scary even thinking about the possibility of things going forward in the future, but you always have the right to give your side of the story.
It sounds like things with your friends got really out of hand and, even though you weren’t doing anything wrong, the group were doing things that got you all in trouble. Sometimes it can be dangerous staying in a situation where other people are starting to get out of hand. It’s important that you know that, if people around you are doing things that you’re not comfortable with or you feel would get you all in trouble, you’re doing absolutely nothing wrong if you do decide to walk away. Sometimes staying in a situation with people starting to do things like running in front of cars can actually keep encouraging the people to do that, and it may be that the police saw those of you who stayed as having encouraged the others.
It can be really hard to keep your own individual principles when a group starts acting a certain way, but it’s important to remember that what you decide is your responsibility. Sometimes it can help to have a plan of what you would do if you were in a situation like you were before, thinking about what you might like to do, and what might be best to say if you did decide the best thing to do was leave.
Whatever is happening, please know that you can always talk about it, whether it’s about how you’re feeling about the whole thing or even if you are concerned about what might happen next. ChildLine counsellors are there to talk to you about anything that might be happening, and if you feel able to you can write to them like you did with me, come online and talk via1-2-1 chat (like MSN), or even call 0800 1111 (it’s completely free and won’t show up on the phone bill).
Take care,
Sam