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Topic Scared of coming out to my family 

Question

To Sam 

05/01/2012 03:19 

Scared of coming out to my family 

Hi sam

well basically i'm a 16 year old boy and im gay, and well i have come out to some of my friends and i really want to come out to my family but i'm to scared of what they will say or do i don't think they are homophobic but when there is a gay guy on the t.v theu will say things like oh another gay so i dunno if thats what they will be like with me or i fear they will throw me out of the house i just really hope that wont happen when i do tell them.

I've been on the message boards and i havent had that much advice and i was hopeing you could help 

Sam's answer

Sam 

05/01/2012 12:52 

Hi there,

I am really pleased that you have taken the time to write to me. You said in your letter that you are 16 years old and have come out to some of your friends recently.  Coping with feelings about sexual identity can be an anxious and difficult time and I can see that you have taken a brave step and shared how you are feeling with some friends that you trust.  It sounds like you are confident of who you are inside and are now thinking of telling your family that you are gay, but fear of what they might say or do is holding you back.

I can see that your family sometimes make negative comments when they see gay people on television but this does not mean that they will feel differently about you or throw you out of the house when you tell them about your sexuality. It would be wrong for me to try and predict what will happen but you are still the same person and nothing has really changed.  You know that it is perfectly ok to be gay but that doesn’t mean you should feel pressurised to tell your family or anyone else before you are ready.  You can find information and useful links about sexual orientation in Explore and further information about coming out on The Site website.  

You mention that you've been on the message boards but didn't get much advice. Have you looked at these threads on the ChildLine message boards about Sexuality?

If you want to talk to someone about this, or anything else, you can speak to a counsellor on 0800 1111, send a private email or chat online through 1-2-1 chat (like msn).

Take care,

Sam

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