Hi there
Thank you for getting in touch with me. I am very glad that you wrote as I can hear that you are really worried about your friend at the moment. You say she has just rang you to tell you that she has self harmed in the toilets of her boarding school and has expressed suicidal thoughts. I think that you did the right thing in contacting me.
You say that if something happened to her and you stood by and watched then you would blame your self. I know that it can be very worrying and upsetting when a friend tells you that they have harmed themselves or want to but it is important that you remember that it is not your responsibility to look after your friend. It sounds like this might be a very difficult situation for you and maybe it would be helpful for you to contact ChildLine to talk to a counsellor. You can do this either by phone on 0800 1111 or sign up and using the 1-2-1 chat service (like msn). You mentioned that you feel like you need to tell someone and I am wondering who you might like to tell? Maybe this is something that you could talk about with a ChildLine counsellor?
You ask what you can do to help a girl who refuses to get help but wants to get better. Maybe you could encourage your friend to contact ChildLine herself to talk. Counsellors are there to listen and do not judge. They would be able to help your friend explore how she is feeling and offer her support. She might also find it helpful to have a look at the message boards on the ChildLine website. If your friend ever told you anything and you thought that she needed medical help, the quickest way to get help to her is to call 999 and ask for an ambulance.
Thanks again for writing to me.
Take care
Sam