Hi Alex,
Thank you for sending your letter. It sounds like you have gone through a lot in your life.
Losing your parents in a car accident can leave you with many overwhelming emotions and it seems like this led you to self harming. Well done for being able to stop self harming. It sounds like this boy has been a good friend to you and supported you a lot. It looks like you are feeling very close to him and care for his friendship.
It is normal to feel confused and worried but it is important to remember that you have not done anything wrong. It looks like he has crossed his boundaries and broke your trust that you had in him. You said that you are feeling abused, here you can find more information on what sexual abuse is. No one has the rights to touch you or to kiss you when you don’t want them to do this, even when they are drunk. You said that you tried to forget it, but it sounds like his action has left you feeling worried.
It sounds like you are feeling lonely and are not sure what to do and who to talk to. Some young people are finding helpful and supportive to talk to others on our message board and I wonder how you feel about reading or posting a new tread on the message board.
You said that you would like to talk to someone but you are worried about losing your friendship. Well done for having courage to talk to us about this. It may also help to talk to a trusted adult or friend, or to ask to see a school counsellor. And remember you can always contact ChildLine. You can do this by phoning 0800 1111, or sign up and chat online, any time of day or night and speak with one of our counsellors who would be happy to listen, support and explore available options with you.
Take care,
Sam