Hi there
Thank you for writing in to say how you are feeling about things.
You have said that you feel different to other people your age and you have explained what things are like for you when you are with your friends. From what you have said it sounds like you feel left out and alone as they do things and talk about things that you don’t feel very comfortable with.
You have said that you don’t even want to ask them to go places with you as you don’t want to be knocked back. I imagine that this brings up a lot of difficult feelings for you.
Friends are an important part of life and it feels good to have friends that care about you. It seems like at the moment you feel that your friends are letting you down because of the way they are acting. It is ok to have differences with your friends and not everybody likes to do the same things, but it does sound like you feel they are leaving you out and this is making you feel unhappy.
You do talk about having other friends but it sounds like you would like things to go back to the way they were.
I would like to encourage you to talk to somebody about the way you are feeling right now. It might be a good idea to call ChildLine to talk to a counsellor about what is going on for you, particularly as you have also mentioned other things that are bothering you, like your lack of self confidence, body issues and the fact you haven’t had a proper boyfriend. It is really good that you are able to identify what issues are getting you down and you might find it quite helpful to talk things through with somebody who will listen to you without judging you. You might also find our tips on building confidence and self-esteem helpful.
ChildLine is always open so you can call to talk to someone anytime. The number is 0800 1111 and is free to call. If you prefer you could talk to a counsellor through 1-2-1 chat online or by sending an email.
I hope this helps.
Take care
Sam