Hi and thanks for your letter.
It sounds as though you have been really hurt and confused by this relationship. Sometimes it can be difficult to move on and to get over someone you care deeply about. It's ok to just give yourself some time to do this - you don’t have to rush it.
It seems you were very clear about not giving him something he wanted. That's good that you felt able to do this and you should be proud of yourself, even if it meant the relationship finishing.
Maybe you could spend some time doing the things that make you feel good and happy and try to look after yourself at the moment? You could also visit the ChildLine message boards and see what ideas other young people might have. I'm sure that someone on there who has had a similar experience will give you lots of advice.
Hope this helps
Take care
Sam