Hello
Firstly, I’m really glad that you’ve chosen to write to me as it sounds like there’s a lot going on for you at the moment with your ex-boyfriend. Whether you’re the person who is broken up with or, the person who does the breaking up, splitting up with someone can be a really difficult time.
You talk about your ex-boyfriend wanting to bully you and hurt you. It sounds like you’ve both been quite hurt by the break up, but, he seems to feel that he was more hurt than you were. It seems like he might be trying to take this out on you in some way, by blaming you, saying horrible things about you, trying to make you feel guilty, and wanting to bully you. You seem to already know this, but I agree that this is wrong, and shouldn’t be happening. You should not have to feel like a victim in any way.
Your safety is really important. When he says that he wants to hurt you, remember that if you feel in danger at any point, you have every right to use 999 to call the police.
It seems like you’re quite worried about some of the things he might have been saying but you’re not quite sure what he might have said. Maybe you could think about how you know that he’s been saying things and, if it is from someone else, how it might feel to ask them about what he has or has not been saying.
When you write about him still blaming you, not owning up to when he's wrong, trying to put you down all the time and making you feel guilty, it sounds like you are still in touch with him or see him. It might be useful to ask yourself if keeping in contact with him is helping you. For example, some people might feel that keeping in contact with an ex allows them to have a conversation about things and so helps them move on; others might prefer to move on from the break up by not seeing or speaking to each other at all. Yet, others might find themselves somewhere in between. The important thing is to think about what is right for you, and then decide how you might go about doing that.
You also seem really worried about any rumours that he might make when you go back to school and whether you might be bullied by people at school. Bullying can be a very difficult thing to deal with, sometimes the fear of being bullied can be just as bad. Remember that there are people who want to support you. You could check out www.bullying.co.uk which has some advice and a forum for people who are being bullied. Talking to an adult you trust at home or school about these things is another way to get support.
Remember, if you want to talk more about what has been going on, you can contact a Childline counsellor, they are always there to listen to and support you about anything. They can be contacted by phone on 0800 1111, in a 1-2-1 online chat or by sending an email (available through this website).
Take care
Sam