Page Utilities
Change wallpaper
Help
Accessibility

Ask Sam

Topic My Girlfriend... (I'm a girl) 

Question

To Sam 

13/11/11 7.40pm 

My Girlfriend... (I'm a girl) 

Hi Sam.

I am 14 years old and a girl. I've known that I am gay for as long as I can remember and, since I've known that it was okay to love another girl, I'm out. a couple of months ago (about 9) I met this girl that I was highly attracted to and now (being my girlfriend for 7 months and 5 days) I am in love with her. About a 3 months ago she hit me, slapped me on the cheek. She appologised for it for ages but she did it again and within two months she just stopped appologising. If I do something wrong she will hit me, hard so it leaves a bruise, she also bites me and has even burnt me with a cigarette.

Last week (on Wednesday) I told my form tutor at school but he just looked at me and said "she is a girl, you are a girl. She cannot be hurting you badly, you are overexsaggerating".I felt really discouraged because I'm not close to any of the teachers at my school or really any of the pupils. My parents died when I was 5 in a car accident and so I live with my uncle who is really homophobic (he doesn't know I'm gay and I'm not planning on telling him) so I don't have anyone to talk to.

I don't know what to do but I know I want her to stop. Please help me.

Sam's answer

Sam 

25/11/11 3.57pm 

Hi there

Thank you very much for writing to me about what you’re going through.  I can hear that you’re in love with your girlfriend but that she’s hurting you and I’m really concerned you’re going through so much. The things that she’s doing to hurt you are called Physical abuse which is against the law. It’s not OK for her to behave like this towards you. Look at the Physical abuse page in the Explore section for more information.

It sounds like your form tutor didn’t take it seriously when you told him what was happening.  It’s really wrong of your girlfriend to be treating you like this and it’s not your fault that it’s happening.  Your school has a legal responsibility to help keep you safe.  From what you’ve said, you’re not close to people at school and it sounds like your uncle doesn’t know you’re gay and you’re not going to tell him because he’s very homophobic.  If you ever feel in danger or if you want to report a crime, you have the right to call 999 for emergency help.

It seems like you really want it to stop but you’re not sure what to do. You don’t have to cope with this on your own. ChildLine can be here to support you.  You can call a counsellor at ChildLine and speak in confidence.  You can also send emails and have 1-2-1 chats online with a counsellor.  How would you feel about speaking to a counsellor so that you can talk things through a bit more?

You’ve done really well to get in touch. Thank you again.

Take care,

Sam

Ask Sam

It's complicated

Its complicated

Hey, im charlotte, i'm 17 Me and my boyfriend had a baby boy last year but hes been diagnosed with down syndrome, my boyfriend has very bad moodswings and anger problems, he's hit me before and now i'm scared for...

Read more
Write a letter to Ask Sam
 
 
 
 
 

Ask Sam

Never had a boyfriend

Never had a boyfriend

I feel there is something wrong with me sometimes. Almost everyone in my class has had a boyfriend or a girlfriend at some stage. People tease me about it and ask people out randomly saying like: "Do you want to...

Read more
Write a letter to Ask Sam
 
 
 
 
 
 

Ask Sam

I need your help

I need your help

I have this realtionship with this guy i met  online and i dont know what to do about it :| wev'e new eachother for 2 years now....an then he told me he loves me and i love him too but...

Read more
Write a letter to Ask Sam
 
 
 
 
 

Ask Sam

Relationships

relationships

hello,...

i very nearly dumped my boyfriend of a year and a half yesterday as he asked me if i liked someone else and i said i wasnt sure. i now know that i only love him and have no...

Read more
Write a letter to Ask Sam
 
 
 
 
 
 

Ask Sam

Its hard

It's hard

Hey.....

I have a massive crush on this boy from my school....

About two months ago i went on facebook & then went dawn staires but I forgot to log out. My crush started talking to me (WOW) he said...

Read more
Write a letter to Ask Sam
 
 
 
 
 

Ask Sam

My girlfriend

My girlfriend

hi my girlfriend is self harmin and i don't know what more i can do to help her.  i have told her to ring me when she feels like she is going to do it and i have asked her...

Read more
Write a letter to Ask Sam
 
 
 
 
 
 

Ask Sam

Controlling boyfriend advice needed

Controlling boyfriend advice needed

me and my bf have been going out for almost a year next month, he means the world to me and i know he loves me a lot....

the problem is he is to controlling, in other words he says...

Read more
Write a letter to Ask Sam
 
 
 
 
 

Ask Sam

Torn and upset

Torn and upset

I am 15 and am going out with this boy. We have been going out just over a month but my feelings are all mixed up....

I still have feelings for more than one other person though, and really dont...

Read more
Write a letter to Ask Sam
 
 
 
 
 
 

Ask Sam

......Help!!! x

R:E......Help!!! x

Hi Sam,,,, I don't mean 2 sound vain but seven boys have told me they like me and all of them are alwayz flirtin......I checked 1 of them but I dumped him cause I felt it wasn't working &&& now...

Read more
Write a letter to Ask Sam
 
 
 
 
 

Ask Sam

Family traditions driving me mad

Family traditions driving me mad

Hi, I'm going out with this boy. He is really nice and has helped me during my life. My home life is a whole other topic that really gets me down and makes me feel like rubbish but he takes...

Read more
Write a letter to Ask Sam
 
 
 
 
 
 

Ask Sam

Boyfriends, who needs them.

Boyfriends, who needs them.

In December 2010 i was beaten and raped badly by my boyfriend, i am only 17. I was taken to hopsital and he was senteced to 6months inprisonment and a restraining order has been put into place for 2years. He...

Read more
Write a letter to Ask Sam
 
 
 
 
 

Ask Sam

Mum or boyfriend?

mum or boyfriend?

ive recently started dating this boy who i really likes & he really likes me back. at first i kept it secret from my mom but then my twin sister told her. she wants me to end my relationship with...

Read more
Write a letter to Ask Sam
 
 
 
 
 
 

Ask Sam

he hurt me

He hurt me

recently i was in a relationship with a boy who was really meen, he got me doing all kinds of stuff, like smoking drinking, i only drank on nights away from home tho, hes a year older than me and...

Read more
Write a letter to Ask Sam
 
 
 
 
 

Ask Sam

help?

Help?

I'm 17 and I love my boyfriend so much. For the past 2 years it's been an on/off relationship. The last time we were together, he got really drunk and almost cheated on me with 2 of my friends, fortunately...

Read more
Write a letter to Ask Sam
 
 
 
 
 
 

Ask Sam

Should I risk it?

Should i risk it?

Hello sam,...

I kind of just got out a relationsip about 6 weeks ago and i had my heartbroken really badly......

Now there is a new guy that likes me and i like back, should I risk having my heartbroken...

Read more
Write a letter to Ask Sam
 
 
 
 
 

Ask Sam

Internet Friendships.

Internet Friendships.

Dear Sam, I met a man from Iraq on the internet who claimed to be 22 years old. He claims to be a medical student and has used it to gain my trust - as I also want to be...

Read more
Write a letter to Ask Sam
 
 
 
 
 
 

Ask Sam

i like him

i like him

Hello. I am 14.

i really like this boy. He dont know i like him, but he has a gf. i really like him, what shall i do? xx

Read more
Write a letter to Ask Sam
 
 
 
 
 

Ask Sam

im lost...

im lost...

so last year i dated this boy s* and we lsted for about a month sadly and when we dated he would always joke around abou sex and i didnt really care because most guys at our school do that thinking they...

Read more
Write a letter to Ask Sam
 
 
 
 
 
 

Ask Sam

help!!

help!!

dear sam...

im a 16 year girl old and i met this guy online and he wants me  to meat him he's in a diffrent contrey cus we are dateing and i love him but i dont wanna leave my...

Read more
Write a letter to Ask Sam
 
 
 
 
 

Ask Sam

My Girlfriend... (I'm a girl)

My Girlfriend... (I'm a girl)

Hi Sam....

I am 14 years old and a girl. I've known that I am gay for as long as I can remember and, since I've known that it was okay to love another girl, I'm out. a couple of...

Read more
Write a letter to Ask Sam
 
 
 
 
 
 

Ask Sam

Am I being sexually harassed?

Am I being sexually harassed?

I don't know if my teacher will understand :( My year head in school has helped me through everything I have had problems with and he has told me that I should never hesitate to come to him that his...

Read more
Write a letter to Ask Sam
 
 
 
 
 

Ask Sam

very confused?? help please??

very confused?? help please??

hi sam. my name is S*... im a black 14 year old girl and i really like this boy! i've liked him for nearly a year. he found out but i think forgot about it.. i want us to go...

Read more
Write a letter to Ask Sam
 
 
 
 
 
 

Ask Sam

my boyfriend self harms

my boyfriend self harms

hi sam my name is P*. i have known my boyfriend ever since i was little and we used to pretend that we would be married one day. he is really caring and nice but a bit overprotective. he is...

Read more
Write a letter to Ask Sam
 
 
 
 
 

Ask Sam

boys and realtionships

boys and realtionships

hi im K* and i worried about realtionships. i go to an all girl school and next to my school is an all boys school, most girls i know try to impress the boys. But when i find someone i...

Read more
Write a letter to Ask Sam
 
 
 
 
 
 

Ask Sam

i feel lonely

i feel lonely

hi sam i have been wondering who to talk to about this and i wanted to say i really liked this one girl i walked with her home although i live really far away i always sat next to her...

Read more
Write a letter to Ask Sam
 
 
 
 
 

Confidentiality

Confidentiality means not telling anyone else about what you’ve said. 

Read more about confidentiality

Was this useful?

Was reading Ask Sam useful to you, and if 'yes', why was it useful? 

 
 
 
 
 

Find out more

If there's an issue that you'd like to find out more about, visit the Explore section.