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Ask Sam

Topic Internet Friendships. 

Question

To Sam 

31/8/11 6.27pm 

Internet Friendships. 

Dear Sam, I met a man from Iraq on the internet who claimed to be 22 years old. He claims to be a medical student and has used it to gain my trust - as I also want to be a medical student when I am older. He is very obsessive and demands that I always tell him that I love him and that I will marry him when he comes to meet me next year. I refused to give my mobile number out to him so he gave me his. He convinced me to text him and trying to cover my tracks, I made my mobile number private. After sending the text I now have the worst feeling that he will be able to track my location and will come and find me. When I tell him I don't love him, he demands that I must examine him on our first meeting before accepting his marriage proposal. I am 16 years old and he was very keen to know that I wasn't sexually active.
Please any help you can give me will be gratefully received. I am really worried, losing my appetite over it and have the worst feeling that he was not kidding when he said he was coming to meet me, one day.

Thank you.

Sam's answer

Sam 

9/9/11 1.36pm 

Hi there,

Thank you for writing to me. It sounds like you are feeling very worried about the situation you are in with this man from Iraq that you met on the internet. It is very unlikely he will be able to track your location from a text, although it is likely that he can see your phone number. If he tries to contact you by phone and this is something you are not comfortable with, you have the option of either blocking his number (although he could then contact you from a different number) or changing your number.

It is important when talking to people over the internet that you do not give out any personal details about yourself, such as your full name or where you live. It is a good idea to make sure your address and phone number are not on social networking sites such as Facebook.  There is more information about this in the Online and mobile safety section in Explore.

You say that you are really worried that he was not kidding when he said he was coming to meet you. Try to remember that he might want to meet you but it is your choice as to whether you do.  It is very dangerous to meet someone that you only know over the internet. If you do ever decide to meet someone, then please first have a look at the safety tips on our website.

It sounds like you do not want to meet this person and certainly do not want to accept his marriage proposal. This is your decision. It might also be a good idea to speak to an adult that you trust about your worries and let them know how much information this man has about you. I get the impression that you are no longer enjoying talking to him and perhaps you could think about what it would be like to stop any contact with him.

It looks like this is something that is really stressing you out, and ChildLine would really like to support you with this.  Perhaps you could contact ChildLine, either by phone (0800 1111) or using our online 1-2-1 chat service (which works a bit like msn) to speak to a counsellor. 

I hope this helps,

Sam

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