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Ask Sam

Topic Boyfriends, who needs them. 

Question

To Sam 

26/4/11 1.37pm 

Boyfriends, who needs them. 

In December 2010 i was beaten and raped badly by my boyfriend, i am only 17. I was taken to hopsital and he was senteced to 6months inprisonment and a restraining order has been put into place for 2years. He has tried to contact me and i did allert the police and he was taken back to court, but only fined £80. I dont know what to do, that £80 isnt anything compared to what hes done to me now, hes ripped mt heart in two again. Hes told me he loves me and hes sorry but i really just dont believe it :( i get a lump in my throat every time i think about it, it sometimes makes me throw up. I was with him for 2 and a half years and then he did what he did :( xx
Sam's answer

Sam 

8/8/11 1.48pm 

Hello

Thank you for your letter. I’m really glad that you decided to get in contact. It sounds like you have gone through a very frightening time. What happened in December 2010 was very wrong and against the law. You were very brave to speak to the police. He was also wrong to break his restraining order and you did the right thing to report it.

It seems as though him contacting you has brought up a lot of mixed emotions that are very confusing and difficult to deal with. You’ve told me that you feel as though he has ripped your heart in two again and that you get a lump in your throat every time you think about it, sometimes making you throw up. You have been through a really tough time, this person let you down very badly and broke your trust after having been with you for 2 and a half years. It’s understandable that you wouldn’t believe the things he is telling you now, since they don’t reflect his actions. It’s important that you think about how to keep yourself safe.

I’m glad that you have decided to tell me about what’s happening for you. I’m wondering whether you have received any kind of support for what’s happened or whether there is anyone that you could talk to about what’s going on. Perhaps you might want to consider talking to an adult that you trust about the way you are feeling?

You are always welcome to have a 1-2-1 chat online with one of ChildLine’s counsellors. They are there to listen and support you. That way you can have a live conversation about how you are feeling and everything that’s happening. You can also contact ChildLine by calling 0800 1111 (it’s free from any phone and it won’t show up on your bill). 

Take care

Sam

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