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Topic Am I being sexually harassed?  

Question

To Sam 

03/01/2012 22:38 

Am I being sexually harassed?  

I don't know if my teacher will understand :( My year head in school has helped me through everything I have had problems with and he has told me that I should never hesitate to come to him that his door is always open that he is there to support me, but also that I should try to sort out strategies for myself. The situation is as follows. A boy in my class keeps asking me to flirt with him over text. Asking me if I still like him (cause I used to), but also in the past he has asked me to meet him outside class to touch and as he says "flirt dirty" he's been texting me asking for me to flirt with him as that would impress him he says but he's starting to freak me out I'm just really worried when I go back to school he'll keep asking me and even start touching me, because he has asked to meet me outside toilets in school to hug and to touch my backside, this boy's renowned for this sort of thing, and it's not the first time he's said this to me. I'm just really paranoid about this situation as he is in my class. I've heard about a similar situation in the year above me and the vice principal/pastoral care had to ring social services about it. Will my teacher be mad at me for this situation? One of my best mates says she'll take me up to him but I'm embarrassed. Will he mind if I am? Please I don't know how he'll act. I have taken his advice and tried to deal with it but it's not working, will he mind? It's just it's not the first time this has happened. Please I don't know what to do. I'm scared because he told me not to tell anybody, and I don't know what he'll do if I go to my year head :(. I don't feel safe in the same form class as him :( please help thanks.
Sam's answer

Sam 

04/01/2012 13:47 

Hello,

Thank you for your letter. It sounds like there is a lot going on for you at school right now. I wanted to tell you that I’m really glad that you have a teacher at your school who is supporting you and who has helped you. I think it is also great that he has an open door policy for you. Trying to sort things out for yourself is always a good idea but sometimes we do need a little help dealing with some situations.

I hear you say that this boy at school has been trying to get you to flirt with him over text and meet up. He is saying that, by you doing these things, it will impress him. Although you used to fancy him, it sounds to me like you are now feeling scared about the situation and you don’t want to, “flirt dirty” with him. I want you to know that you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do and this boy cannot make you. You are your own person and you can make your own decisions.

The fact that you said you don’t feel safe in the class with this boy is worrying. You have the right to feel safe at school. I think you have been very sensible in thinking about telling your teacher about what is going on with this boy. I also think it's great that you are talking to a friend about it.

If you are feeling scared about being in a class with this boy and feeling harassed, then you have the right to talk to the teacher about it. Your school has an obligation to keep you safe.  Your Year Head has already told you to speak to him anytime - now would be a good time to tell him what been happening and ask for his help.

If you are worried about what to say, or there is something else making you hesitate to go to your teacher, you can always contact ChildLine and talk it through with a counsellor. You can talk to a counsellor by calling free on 0800 1111, by sending an email or through 1-2-1 chat online (like msn).

Good luck,
Sam

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