Hi there
Thank you for writing to me. It sounds like things have been very tough for you for a long time now, you have said that seven years ago your mum was diagnosed with cancer and you feel that this caused you to grow up really fast. A parent being ill can be incredibly difficult to cope with and you said that you hardly got to see her. She was smoking or in bed ill and that must have been very upsetting for you to see.
You say that your mum moved out and you had to go too, but when your mum became seriously ill you had to live with your sister. It sounds like you are living with your dad now. This is a lot of change for you and that might have been hard sometimes.
I get the impression that you have a lot of things on your mind that are worrying you now, the stuff with your mum, arguments in the rest of your family and your dad saying that they don’t have the money to pay the bills and that he wants to put the house up for sale.
Sometimes it can be very hard when you feel like the adults around you are fighting or upset, but it is important that you remember that none of this is your fault and you are not ‘part of’ whatever happens with the house between your mum and dad's family.
Does anyone know how you are feeling at the moment? You haven’t said what your relationship is like with dad but what would it be like to sit down with him and tell him what has been going on for you? If not your dad then perhaps you have a teacher or another adult that you trust that you could talk to?
I can hear that you are feeling really stressed and upset at the moment and you have said you want to go into care. If you would like to talk more about this with someone who won't judge you, and is trained to listen, why not contact a ChildLine counsellor?
I think you have been really brave through all of this and would really like to see you get help and support you deserve. The ChildLine counsellors are always here when ever you want to talk, and you can reach them by phone on 0800 1111 or using the 1-2-1 online chat service.
Take care,
Sam